Margot smiled at the sound of Faye’s Australian accent when she was enthusiastic about something. ‘Awesome. Yes, I think it would have been.’
‘So how come you never did it?’
‘I got pregnant instead.’
Faye tilted her head to one side. ‘Do you regret it? Not the babies, but not doing the degree?’
‘Yes and no. No, not at the time. But yes, perhaps lately I’ve been thinking about it more.’
‘Would you go back and study? Or study from home?’
She hesitated. ‘I thought about it.’ But Perry had dismissed it of course. She’d let herself be bullied for far too long and she hated herself a little bit for it.
‘You should do, if that’s what you want.’
‘Maybe…’ Although really she needed something a lot more immediate; she needed to earn money. She had the funds from the boys but hated the fact she’d taken them in the first place. The sooner she was bringing some money in the better.
Faye leaned to the side as the waitress took away their empty plates and then she poured them both another cup of tea from the teapot. ‘Your husband would support the idea, wouldn’t he?’
‘My husband wasn’t keen at all when I mentioned it.’
‘The husband who isn’t holidaying with you.’ She set the teapot down.
Margot, in the presence of a friend for the first time in far too long, found it all tumbling out. ‘I’m not just on a holiday,’ she admitted. ‘I’ve left my husband. My marriage of almost thirty years is over.’ It felt surprisingly good to unburden herself to a friend at last.
‘Margot, I…’
‘It’s okay. Well, it’s not, but you know, it kind of is.’
She explained some of the moments that had led her here – Perry’s obsession with work and being the best, the way he was with their boys, seeing them as not achieving their full potential and the light that dimmed in their eyes every time they faced their father’s scrutiny and disapproval. She told Faye about her life since she’d given up her degree – the homemaker she was, the mother, the entertainer when it came to Perry’s business associates, how she felt no warmth in the house when the boys weren’t there, how Perry didn’t show love or affection any more, how he criticised her and made her feel like she’d never make it on her own. And she told Faye that slowly her friends had fallen away one by one.
‘I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you, Margot.’
‘It’s why I joined the Midnight Book Club. It was at a time I knew Perry would be asleep and I could sneak off. It was something just for me.’
‘I’m glad you got that.’
‘Honestly, things have been the same way for such a long time that it became my normal. And it was always about family for me. It was always about my boys. I couldn’t bear them getting hurt in all of this, and so I put up with the way things were. My sons were my saviour in the toughest of times. Even if they weren’t with me, they were in the background. Without them…’
‘Are they the reason you never left?’
She nodded. ‘I never wanted to break up the family, and I didn’t think I could manage on my own. Perry took my confidence along with everything else.’ Perhaps it was better that she didn’t know Faye all that well. It was more like telling a neutral party. Maybe this was what therapy was like, confessing all your secrets, having them pouring out just like the tea from the teapot on the table.
‘What changed?’ Faye asked.
‘You know, despite so many years falling into the place where Perry wanted me, I thinkIchanged.’
‘Have you spoken to your husband?’
She shook her head. ‘I blocked his number. He’s emailed but I haven’t written back. It’s almost worse that he’s gone quiet. I don’t know what his next move will be.’
As the tearooms were getting busy, they went Dutch to pay their bill and left. Margot put on her chunky knit cardigan and as they stepped outside they went back to the main street and the hill that passed through Driftwick Bay.
Faye zipped up her hoodie. ‘Is this why you were asking about a cleaning job?’
‘It is. I’ve got some money set by, but I need a plan for the longer term.’
‘How long will the money last you for?’
