‘She said. You know, she is made up that you’ve let her go into the bookshop.’
‘I’m glad. I wasn’t sure what to do. I’m not a book person you see, but I know it’s popular.’ They hadn’t been here that long in comparison to other residents but long enough to feel a part of the community, which said a lot about the locals. ‘I’ll have to have a think about what to do long term I suppose.’ Because long term, was she reallystilla part of things here without Howard? She hadn’t been the person who saved the bookshop; she hadn’t interacted with people the same way Howard had. Perhaps it would be best for her if she sold the shop, gave up the cottage and went back to Reading where everything was so much more familiar.
‘It must be really hard for you,’ said Theo. ‘But remember people are around, whenever you need.’ It was as if he’d read her mind.
She gulped back her emotions. It was harder to think about leaving when someone said kind things.
‘Even Midas here,’ Theo went on, patting his dog on the head. ‘Although he hasn’t enjoyed his sudden retirement, let me tell you.’
Bonnie laughed for what had to be one of the first times since she’d lost Howard and it took her by surprise at how good it felt to be sharing a joke with someone else. ‘I know the feeling.’
Oh, the dog was gorgeous, he really was. She hung the bag with the buns on one of the coat hooks inside so she had both hands free to make a fuss of him.
Midas was trained as a therapy dog and he often went into Driftwick Bay Books with Iris. From what Howard said he was a hit with anyone who needed his services and indeed anyone who came into the shop. Bonnie could see why. He was such a softie.
‘I thought schools were back now it’s September,’ she said to Theo when she stood up straight again. The sudden observation had her realise she was starting to feel a part of the real world again. It sounded silly but for weeks she hadn’t known what day it was, what month; she’d been in an abyss of grief, unable to crawl out.
‘Inset day today,’ he said with a smile. ‘I’m on a quick break.’
She looked at Midas. ‘Well, you can go into the shop with Iris whenever you like,’ she said.
Theo looked embarrassed. ‘I didn’t come to ask for his job back; I really did pass by and see the bag of goodies on your doorstep.’
She laughed for the second time. ‘Well, it’s lovely to see you both. And people will enjoy Midas being back at Driftwick Bay Books.’ But she wasn’t sure how long that would be for.
When she closed the door she was happy she’d managed to keep her smile, keep up the pretence that she was coping.
Because she really didn’t feel like she was.
The way she felt right now she wished the bookshop, the cottage and Driftwick Bay would disappear and she could somehow magic herself somewhere else away from all this pain.
14
FAYE
Faye loved Australia but when her dad decided he wanted to go to Dorset to be with his brother, she had started to feel more drawn to England, as if she might have unfinished business there. She’d told herself she was merely being nostalgic and in part she was because with England came fond memories of her and Steph growing up, the family that was once all together.
Faye hadn’t been in Dorset for very long before she’d felt that same draw and it was more than nostalgia; it was a sense of belonging and peace. And quickly she decided she would stay here for a bit longer than she’d planned. It would give the gossips extra time to settle down before she went back to Australia. Perhaps by then the shitstorm would be over. And now that Margot was around it was even nicer because she had some female company.
Faye put her change of plans down to the freedom she felt, the not having to look around every corner, duck her head, hide behind a cap and sunglasses. It was lovely to be close to her dad again too and with an open-return plane ticket she had options. However, those options meant longer off work and so a few days ago when she’d seen a cleaner disappear into the caravan next to hers, she’d gone into the site office and offered up her services if they needed an extra hand. They did; in fact they were short of help, and so once she showed them her British passport they were happy to put her on the casual roster. It would be on a day-to-day basis depending on what the caravan park’s needs were, which suited her just fine.
The job didn’t pay that well at all, and it would be hard graft, but Faye didn’t mind any of that. In fact, when one of the cleaners got sick and she was given even more of the workload she relished the busyness as well as making some extra money.
As she started work that morning, she put her AirPods in and lost herself in a Lily Allen album. She squirted cleaner into the toilet in caravan number 28, which had thankfully been left pretty tidy – not all of them were, the one she’d cleaned before this she’d reported to the site office for the dirty dishes piled not only in the sink but on the coffee table, in the bedroom and even on the ledge in the bathroom. She gave the shower a clean until it sparkled – easy with this caravan; it was new – and moved on to do the kitchen.
She did a couple more vans and once her shift was complete she headed to her own caravan and stood beneath the shower for a while. Her body felt fried. Hairdressing was taxing, given she was on her feet so much, but cleaning was a lot harder. She’d scrubbed, wiped, vacuumed, cleaned windows, polished surfaces, but she’d somehow enjoyed all of it. It had taken her head to a totally different place, and she was earning money to fund her longer stay and keep her sanity. No gossips lurking, no reminders of a life she might have had with Brad, just a simple life she was making the most of.
She locked up the caravan behind her. Today Margot had her youngest son visiting and with Faye working part of the day she wouldn’t see her until tomorrow at the earliest. It was odd that she had come on a holiday down here really – Faye knew she was worried about Howard too but Ascot was close enough that she could’ve just come for the day or overnight.
She went over to the lock-up unit behind the caravan’s parking space and wheeled out one of the two bicycles that her uncle had told her about in a text message last night. He said he’d quite forgotten about them until now. She was going to knock on Bonnie’s door again, see whether she would talk to her. It was worth a try, wasn’t it? She and Margot had tried again already but either Bonnie wasn’t coming to the door or she’d gone away.
The bike she wheeled out had to have been Auntie Clare’s as it suited Faye’s height and the saddle was too low for it to be Uncle Frank’s.
She dusted off one of the helmets that were also in the unit and set off for Driftwick Bay. It wasn’t that far distance wise, but it was a hilly route. She was glad of the September sunshine, the extension of summer and no sign of rain. According to Uncle Frank, they were already on the countdown to a long, cold winter, and her dad was getting excited, talking about making sure there were enough logs for the fire in the store to keep them both going through those cold months. Watching them together was nice but it also reminded Faye that she and Steph had once been like that, but not for a very long time.
She pumped her legs hard to get up the first hill, enjoyed coasting down the next and eventually pedalled past the sign announcing she’d arrived in Driftwick Bay. The wind had been against her, which meant it should be behind her on the way back at least. She went part way down the hill until she saw the cycle rack on the corner of a little street just as Uncle Frank had said there would be. Amazing how he could remember some of the most random tiny details.
She carefully cycled across to the rack on the opposite side of the road and dismounted. She locked up her bike and looked down the side street to a little bakery, which was emitting a smell that had already convinced her she’d treat herself before she did anything else. With cleaning and the cycling, her appetite seemed to be off the scale.
