I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
Despite the warmth in the air, the wind that rushes past makes me shiver and I huddle tighter into the black coat draped over my shoulders. Fresh dirt shifts ever so slightly in front of my eyes and the petals of the flowers laid at the headstone rise and flutter in the breeze. The scent of freshly cut grass fills the air, along with the subtle hint of oak from a nearby tree.
I stare at the text and my eyes blur.
How could she leave me? How could she lie there for weeks and not open her eyes once? Could she not tell I was there? Could she not tell that her daughter needed her?
How did we even reach this point?
I’ll never know if she knew the truth about Dad, but I pray she didn’t. If she did, I pray she forgives me for burying them next to each other.
Numbness grew in my chest from the moment Ruslan pulled me into his arms the night I got the news, and it’s spread ever since. Even as tears roll down my cheeks, there’s no pain in my chest or my heart. I feel nothing but cold, like my bones are turning to ice and chilling my body at the same time.
I close my eyes.
The tears continue.
It feels like only yesterday we were sitting around the kitchen table while I filled them in on my latest flight and shared my excitement for the next country I was getting to visit. Mom would tell me to give up my apartment and come home for good since it was a waste of money to pay for a place I never spent time in. Dad would tell me that it’s good to be independent, but having me home is the highlight of his month.
It feels like yesterday and at the same time, it feels like it was so long ago.
I try to picture their faces, but all I see are the blood and bruises covering Mom’s face. Dad’s face is a blur.
The tears come faster. Thicker. Suddenly, I can’t breathe with how clogged up my nose has become, and my legs give way. I’d hit the ground if not for Ruslan.
He’s right at my side, his arms tight around me, and he catches me as I fall. We land on the grass together, Ruslan on his knees and me in his lap as I sob and sob, unable to word anything.
I should thank him for pulling this funeral together, but I can’t.
Thanking him makes this all too real.
Each breath is a trembling gasp, each sob tears out of me with such force that the cracks appear in the numbness surrounding my heart.
It hurts.
God, it fucking hurts.
By the time my tears dry and my breath comes back to me easily, the sky has darkened and the sun sits low in the sky, sendingits rays through the tree next to me and caressing the new headstone with long, amber fingers. The sunlight makes the gold ink glow, and I watch as the drifting leaves cause the shadows to caress the headstone.
“I want to go home,” I croak, speaking for the first time since we arrived here hours ago.
“Are you sure?” Ruslan’s voice is low and soft, hovering close to my ear as he remains steadfast on his knees while holding me close. “We can stay as long as you need.”
“I’m cold.” The warmth in the air doesn’t reach me and a shiver pulls sharply down my spine while I stand with Ruslan’s help.
“I’ll take you home.” As he steps to the side, the other members of the Suit come into view.
Bradley, clad in a black suit, stands the furthest away at the end of the gravel path leading to the road. He’s a tall, broad man who looks capable of ripping the nearby tree up from its roots. Valentina stands near him in a black dress that wraps around her body in swooping lines from her shoulder to her waist. There’s a slight bulge where her gun rests.
Cassian is close by, his eyes misty as he stands with one hand over his wrist dressed in a black shirt that strains over his shoulders each time he moves. Just behind him is Raven, her attention fixed on me and her eyes heavy with sorrow. She helped me dress this morning when I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I still can’t believe they came.
Five strangers stand between me and the road, five people with more power and skill than I can comprehend, and somehow, they’re all here for me. They barely know me and yet they came.
I didn’t ask them to. I didn’t ask anyone, not even Moira.
But they came.
