I set the bloodied cotton balls down in a pile. “What?”
“Make a new life. I’m sorry that your old one is gone. What happened to you is dreadful, Ivy. So dreadful, and I’m sorry. But you have all the time and space in the world to make a new one. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but all that pain you’re carrying? It’s left over from other people. Your father’s betrayal. Moira’s lies. The plane crash. It’s in the past. I’m not telling you to move on if you’re not ready, because we’re all different, but maybe just adjust your outlook. Embrace the now. Are there any new things in your life now that can be the start of that?”
The bloodied cotton balls end up in the trash and I slide some painkillers toward Raven while she speaks. As gentle as her voice is, her words are a little harsh. Have I been lingering too much in the past? Holding on to things I can’t change and won’t ever be able to?
In the present, Ruslan is the only new thing I’d like to hold on to. If Raven’s right and he watches me, maybe he feels something too? I mull over that morning where we woke up cuddling and how nice it felt to have someone next to me.
Beyond him, my life is empty, though. Can I really focus on a new job, a new home, and a new life while someone out there is trying to kill me?
Raven pats my cheek as she slides off the stool. “Thanks. Think about what I said. There’s no textbook answer for anything, but a new start never hurt anyone, y’know? And if that new start involved fucking Ruslan’s brains out, then so be it.”
“Raven!” Indignation flashes through my chest as my cheeks flush, but she’s already hurrying out of the kitchen while laughing. Laughter that abruptly ends when Cassian’s voice rises in the hallway.
“Raven! What happened to you?”
Smiling to myself, I tidy up the rest of the kit while mulling over her advice.
What does my future look like? Is there a chance Ruslan can be in it? Whether I’ll even have one or not hinges on Ruslan and his team solving the mystery of the plane crash. It remains on my mind as I wander the floor and eventually make it to the gym where Ruslan lies flat on his back. His arms cross at his chest with a hand on each opposite shoulder and he sits up in rapid, short bursts.
“Ruslan?”
“Hmm?” He turns his head to face me and smiles briefly. “What’s up?”
“I wanted to ask if you know what we’re going to do next?”
“Next?”
“With the plane and everything. I was talking to Raven and just…” Wandering closer, I stop a few feet away. “I want my life back. Well, a new life. I want to start it, but you’re right. I can’t until we find out who is trying to kill me and why. So I want to know what you’re going to do next.” As much as I hate asking him, I’m somewhat powerless. But that doesn’t mean I’m useless.
“Well…” Ruslan finishes his sit-ups and bounces to his feet, his pecs trembling slightly as he lands on the balls of his feet. “I’vebeen thinking about what we learned from Florence. She spoke openly to you. I’m fairly certain we’d still be in the dark if not for you, but your father's involvement in this means one of two things. Either Florence is lying and she’s involved deeper than she’s letting on, or your father’s affair with her is completely unrelated and something we just stumbled on accidentally.”
Ruslan grabs his towel from the nearby weight rack and pats the back of his neck, still panting softly. “Without knowing which of those is true is where it gets difficult because if we make the wrong move, then…” He shrugs and brings the towel to his face.
An accident. Is it really possible that my father’s affair has absolutely nothing to do with this? Is it just some weird coincidence?
It can’t be. Not when he was involved with two people connected to the Mafia, even if Florence’s connection was old. Chewing on my lower lip, I gaze at Ruslan while my attention drifts. I replay everything in my mind. From the plane crash, the fake cops, the attack at my parents’ house… there has to be something we’re missing.
“What if… what if we’re wrong?”
Ruslan brings the towel down and squints at me. “Wrong?”
I nod. “What if it’s not my father that’s unconnected, but the drugs? Think about it… everything we know about motivation changes if you consider that the plane blowing up was an accident.”
Ruslan’s brows lower and he rocks his weight from side to side, then his gaze darkens. “It wasn’t the drugs that were the target,” he says slowly. “You were.”
27
RUSLAN
“I’m sorry?” Valentina leans forward against the table, pointing at me with a forkful of instant noodles. “You thinkIvywas the target? Not the drugs?”
Ivy’s throwaway comment about us looking at the wrong incident as the accident hasn’t left me. To the point that I called a team meeting, which took three days to happen due to everyone’s busy schedules. Bradley sits at the head of the table in a chair that creaks subtly every time he breathes. Cassian and Raven sit on the right side of the table, Cassian drumming his fingers against the wood while Raven nudges at the healing tear on her lower lip with her tongue.
I sit next to Valentina and lean back as her noodles come dangerously close to spilling in my lap. “I know how it sounds.”
“Do you?” Valentina snorts.
“I want to hear him out,” Bradley says, his voice rumbling through the room. “You have a theory?”
