“I’m sure,” I say quietly. “I’m just…” Scared. Distressed. Suddenly so exhausted that it’s a challenge to keep my eyes open.
Cassian nods and goes back to drumming out a beat to the invisible song only he can hear, patiently waiting for me to make a move.
I want to and at the same time, I don’t.
Coming here was the best idea I’d had an hour ago, but now that I’ve seen the front door covered in crisscross crime scene tape, I don’t want to be here any longer. I want to go back to the safety of Ruslan’s room at the Empire State building and hide there for the rest of my life.
With the way he looked at me before he left this morning, he might actually let me do that.
I stare at the crime scene tape until my eyes blur, so I close them and thoughts of my mother flood my mind. She was in there. She was attacked in there and my father was murdered. She deserves answers as much as I do.
Something ignites in the back of my mind, a determination that chases away my exhaustion and fuels my movements to get out of the car and grab my crutch in a single breath. Cassian follows after exchanging quick words with Raven inside the car.
“She’s not coming?” I ask when Raven makes no move to follow.
“She’s busy. She’s just here for support. And also because she does her best work on the road, apparently.”
“Apparently?” I lift one brow. “You don’t sound confident.”
“She’s a tech genius.” Cassian shrugs as he positions himself between me and the house. “Feels like she does her best workeverywhere.”
“Oh.” Gripping my crutch, I gaze past Cassian’s shoulder to the front door.
“I’ll ask again, are you sure about this?” He rubs at the back of his neck and flexes his broad shoulders as if trying to protect me from the view.
I nod once more. “I have to do this. Can’t live in free clothes for the rest of my days.”
Cassian falls into step beside me with a soft laugh. “Honestly, clothing is not a concern. Whatever you need, Ruslan will get it for you.”
We walk slowly as I place my weight heavily on my crutch to protect my ankle. “That’s so weird.”
“What is?”
“That you guys just… don’t worry about that stuff. Clothes and stuff. I mean the cars you drive? The place where you live? Even those little devices?” I wave my hand in his direction, trying to imitate the card. “I feel like I’m in some kind of movie.”
“Feels like that sometimes.” Cassian chuckles, sliding one hand into the pocket of his cargo pants. “A horror movie sometimes.”
Talking is a nice distraction because suddenly, we’re at the door and I don’t remember the rest of the walk up the path. Cassian removes a flip knife from his pocket and slices it through the tape in three easy strokes, then he tests the handle. The front door swings open easily and the dark of the hallway looms at me.
My stomach flips and pulls south as if I’m suddenly falling, halted by Cassian’s gentle touch to my elbow.
“Do you want me to go in and get your stuff? You can just tell me where it is.”
It’s tempting but I shake my head. “No. I’m okay.”
“You sure? You’re kind of pale.”
I glance up at him and force a weak smile. “I’m still upright.”
Cassian doesn’t look convinced but he nods and steps into the hallway, holding the door open for me. I grit my teeth and follow.
The air inside is colder for some reason and as I breathe deeply to calm myself, there’s a faint stink of copper in the air.
Blood.
The stairs are halfway down the hallway, leading up to the darker upper floor. I wander the house slowly, checking each room in turn just to show that there’s no one and nothing hiding. The lounge is exactly as I remember it, but the curtains are drawn, and plates of rotten food rest on the coffee table.
My parents must have been eating when they were attacked. Dinner time, maybe?
