“No, I know what you mean. I think it’s nice for young kids to have a dog around though.”
“Mmm.”
“Maybe we could have one at Stanley Point,” I add.
It’s the first time I’ve referred to the idea of us being a family together. Normally I’m more cautious than this, but the words tumble out before I can think twice.
She looks out of the window and doesn’t answer.
I glance at her, then return my gaze to the road, feeling a surge of frustration. I have a horrible fear that I’m going to lose her. I don’t know how else to convince her to stay. Once we get back to Auckland, her fertile window will have passed. Is she going to tell me there’s no point in having sex if she can’t get pregnant? Will she insist on separate bedrooms until she findsout if it’s worked? And what if it has? Will that be the end of our relationship?
I’d thought about what might happen if she didn’t enjoy sex. But I truly hadn’t considered that our time in the bedroom could go so well, and yet she might still not want to stay.
I told her I can’t make her do anything, and it’s true. I can’t force her to love me. To give me a chance. Or to believe in us. And I can’t make her stay.
She’s slipping through my fingers like a silk ribbon, and I’m completely helpless.
Chapter Twenty
Wren
Marcus pulls up outside a small cottage on the edge of his family’s land. As we get out, Jacob comes out of the stables to the left.
“Afternoon,” he says cheerfully. “Ruth’s in here with Luna. The first pup’s here.” He gestures for us to follow him and goes back inside.
We cross the gravel drive, passing a couple of farmhands who are working close by—one mending a fence, the other tinkering with the engine of a truck. Marcus stops and greets the one working on the fence, and I pause to wait for him.
The man working on the engine looks up and winks at me. “Afternoon.”
“Hello,” I say, somewhat shyly at the thought that this man works for Marcus.
“You must be the new Mrs. Ashford,” he says. “I’d heard Marcus was getting married, but I didn’t realize how pretty his new wife would be.”
“Oh.” I smile. “Thank you.”
“I’m Alan.” He offers a hand. Then he looks down at it, spots the grease, and laughs. “Sorry.” He wipes it on his overalls and holds it out again.
I shake it. “Beautiful day,” I say. “I’m here to see Luna’s puppies being born.”
“Oh, yeah, she’s just had the first one. I’m thinking of asking Ruth for one of them for my little girl. She’s desperate for a puppy.”
“Oh, how sweet. That’s a lovely idea.” I feel Marcus’s hand slip into mine.
“Afternoon,” Marcus says to Alan.
Alan just nods. Is it me, or has the temperature dropped by a few degrees?
I smile goodbye, letting Marcus lead me toward the stables.
“What was that about?” I murmur.
“Don’t worry about it,” he says, and gestures for me to precede him inside.
Once my eyes adjust to the dim interior, I see Jacob by one of the stalls in the corner. Marcus goes to talk to him, so I walk over to the adjacent stall, climb onto the block of wood he’s pushed against the partition that separates the stalls, lean on the top, and look down. Luna is lying on the straw, with the first puppy already nursing. Ruth is sitting crossed-legged nearby, although she waves up at me now.
“Aw,” I murmur at the sight of the little pup, “how gorgeous.”
“She’s doing really well,” Ruth says. “Not long until the next one’s born.”
