“Okay, let’s break this down a bit. Do you have any medical issues?”
“No.”
“Do you take antidepressants?”
“No.”
“Is there anything else you haven’t told me? Anything to do with your childhood, for example?”
“Do you mean was I sexually assaulted or something? No, nothing like that, either as a child or an adult.”
Relief washes over me. That means it’s less likely to be a deep-rooted psychological issue. “So your partners have tried to make you come, but have been unsuccessful?”
She nods, tucking her hair behind her ear. Her spine is stiff. “It’s just… embarrassing. I lie there staring at the ceiling, trying not to wince, and after a while I get anxious because it hasn’t happened, and I tense up, and then Iknowit’s not going to happen.”
The ‘trying not to wince’ tells me more than everything else put together. No doubt they’ve seen it on porn videos and were too heavy handed. Some girls need a light touch.
I tip my head to the side. “What about when you’re alone? Can you make yourself come?”
She blushes. “Jeez, Mars…”
“It’s a natural thing, honey. You didn’t masturbate as a girl?”
“No, I shared a bedroom with Clare.”
“And you don’t do it now you live alone?”
She shakes her head.
“So when you didn’t come with your partners, did they get frustrated? Angry even?”
She looks down. Then eventually, she nods.
I grit my teeth and do my best to hide my fury. “Then they were doing it wrong,” I say quietly. “Sex isn’t something you perform for a man. It’s something you’re supposed to enjoy.”
I can see her confusion. She genuinely hadn’t thought about it like that before.
I stifle a sigh. “One more important question, honey. When you had sex with your previous partners… did they expect you to come from penetration alone?”
She blinks. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, did they stimulate you in other ways? Take time to arouse you before they penetrated you?”
She blinks again and looks ever-so-slightly puzzled.
“Foreplay,” I summarize. “Did you have plenty of foreplay?”
“Like, kissing?” She shrugs. “I guess.”
Oh, good Lord.
I sigh. “Did your mother never talk to you about sex when you were young?”
“God no.”
“Ever talk to your girlfriends about sex?”
“No!” She looks horrified.
