“It was that bad?” Logan asked, looking concerned.
“Not all of it. Some of it was rewarding. But some of it, a lot of it was…hell.” Connor closed his eyes. He hated remembering the attack. Still reeling from Casey’s announcement the day before, he’d had to work with her as if nothing had happened. One moment he and Casey had been working to save a soldier. Casey went back to the Humvee to get something. It had blown up just as she reached it.
Sweet, pretty Casey. Dying as he frantically worked to stop the bleeding. He got her to the field hospital, but Ryan couldn’t save her. No one could have. He could still see the expression on his friend’s face when he stepped back, met Connor’s eyes, and called time of death. She was gone. He could still see the tears in Ryan’s eyes, through his own tears.
“Connor? Are you okay?” Logan asked.
“Sorry.” He shook his head, trying to will away the past. “Bad memories.”
“About the woman?”
He nodded. “Her name was Casey.”
“Were you in love with her?”
“Yes. Crazy about her. We’d been together for about three months. I thought she was the one.”
Logan shook his head. “I still can’t imagine it. What happened?”
“She died.”
“My God, Connor,” Liam said. “You’ve never even mentioned her name. To me, anyway.” He looked at Logan.
Logan looked as stunned as Liam had. “Not to me either. Why are you telling us now?”
“The day before she died, she told me she was in love with my best friend.”
“Oh, shit,” Liam said sympathetically. Liam knew what he’d felt, having been left at the altar. Of course, now he was married to Val with a baby on the way and happier than Connor had ever seen him.
“After that I swore I’d never fall in love again. I did a good job of it too.” He shrugged. “And then I met Sierra.”
“I know the feeling,” Logan said.
Liam nodded. “Me too.”
“That’s why I haven’t gotten serious with anyone here. I never planned to fall in love. I thought I was done with it, and it would never happen again. I didn’twantit to happen again.”
“But now?”
“I didn’t plan it, but it happened anyway. I’m in love with Sierra.”
“Okay. So you changed your mind. Why is that a problem?” Liam asked him.
“Aside from me being scared shitless to fall in love?”
Liam smiled. “Yeah. Aside from that.”
“She’s not in love with me.”
“How do you know?” Logan asked. “Have you told her how you feel?”
“I haven’t come right out and said it. But she knows. Or at the least, suspects.”
“With your reputation she won’t think you love her. Maybe she’s waiting for you to actually say something,” Logan said.
He choked out a laugh. “No. She’s waiting for her ex-husband. She’s still in love with him.” At least, he thought she was.
“Isn’t he the one who cheated on her and then wanted a divorce?”
