“That’s not what I’m doing.”
Damaris simply raised an eyebrow. “You know I love you.”
“I know.”
“I hate seeing you like this.”
“I hate feeling like this.”
“You need to try to think about you and Trevor without letting what happened to Noah color your reactions. The things you did, the world you and Noah lived in wasn’t normal. You’re not there anymore. Don’t make yourself and Trevor pay for what happened in your past.”
They hugged each other and Damaris left. Jedidiah shut the door and leaned against it, mulling over what her sister had said.
Are you punishing yourself because Noah died and you didn’t?
When Damaris asked her that question her first response had been ‘of course not.’ But her sister had struck a chord. What if she was punishing herself? Was that what was wrong with her? She didn’t feel she deserved to be happy because Noah had died and she still felt responsible?
She’d questioned herself a thousand times, asking if she could have done something to alter the outcome. The answer was always no.
But she still felt guilty.
