“Are you doing this to make yourself feel better about only wanting sex with me? Because I don’t want your pity. I’m a big girl.” My heart pounds in my chest, frustrated at the idea of being pitied. He obviously put a lot of thought into this, but Ineed to know he means what he’s saying—that he’s doing this to show me I’m not just his to use when he wants.
“You stubborn little thing,” he sighs. “I meant every word I said. This is for both of us to feel more comfortable with one another before having sex, for neither one of us to feel as if we’re using the other like people who have no feelings of any kind. To avoid feeling like we’re being taken advantage of.” His breathing intensifies. “Would it be so wrong to do things this way first? To communicate like friends?”
“Friends?” I ask. “I think we’re far past friends, Professor.”
His nostrils flare. “I understand if you don’t want to do this, if you don’t express your thoughts the same way I do. We can leave and forget all about it.” Grayson’s shoulders relax, disappointment clear on his face.
He goes to close the latch, but I stop him by putting my hand on his forearm.
“I’m sorry. I’m being a bitch. I’m just…just…” I stutter, afraid to admit what I’m feeling.
“Just what, Emma?”
I look into his eyes and let out a shaky breath. “Don’t break my heart, Grayson.” His mouth opens, and his brow furrows as he’s about to say something, but I raise my hand to stop him. “You said you needed time, and it’s true we both have a lot to lose, I get it, but please do not go back on your word. Don’t pretend we’re anything more than people trying to figure out what we want, and if you’re serious—which I believe you are—do not make me wait long because I’ve never been the kind of girl to wait around for a man.”
Grayson slips his hands into his pockets before staring at me. “I promise to never lie to you. I promise to never lead you on, and I promise that I will neverpurposelyhurt you. But you need to promise me something too.”
“And what’s that?” I lean against the car.
“If you can no longer wait for me, then tell me so we can either end this or go down another path.”
The romantic path. The dating, typical boyfriend-girlfriend route…or at least that’s what I think he’s implying.
“I promise.” I extend my pinkie finger, and his lips twitch before he takes it into his. We both nod, and he gestures toward the car.
“Now that we’re done with all of that, we can continue with the night.”
Smiling, I think about how to maneuver myself getting onto the back of this truck.
“I’ll help you up,” Grayson finally says, and lifts me by the waist until I’m able to crawl to the mattress.
“Good thing I wore a long skirt today, huh?”
He scoffs. “That may be good for you, but me, on the other hand…”
I wiggle my finger at him once I’m sitting on the mattress. “No funny business tonight. We’re just people getting to know each other—holy shit, look at the stars!” My jaw drops at the glittery sky. I’m so distracted by it, I hardly feel Grayson getting comfortable on the other side of the bed. “My God, they’re amazing.”
“That’s one of the reasons I brought you here.”
I manage to tear my eyes away from the night sky, and we look at each other briefly.
Grayson clears his throat. “You hungry?”
“Famished.”
“Good, because you’re about to try my cooking for the first time.”
“Tennessee Whiskey”by Chris Stapleton plays from a small Bluetooth speaker as I sway to the song, savoring one of the mini quiches Grayson made. I look down at my nearly empty bowl of creamy lemon orzo with shaved truffles and take the last bite.
“Can I top off your glass?” Grayson raises the bottle ofsparkling cider he brought, and I hold up my plastic flute, giggling.
He smiles broadly. “What’s so funny?”
“I can’t believe you didn’t bring wine.”
Grayson shrugs and finishes pouring my drink. “I thought it’d be nice for us to be completely sober for once.”
My drink spills out of my mouth as the realization hits me. “Oh my God.” I laugh. “We’ve never hung out sober.”
