“Are you going to lock her down, dude, or should I set her up with one of my other friends?”
Jamal’s question irks me just as much as it makes me feel possessive over the tiny blonde girl with a high ponytail and casual clothes, laughing with her friends, other volunteers, and Marina. Less than twenty-four hours ago, I was tilting a glass of water to her lips because she was too weak to do it on her own, not that I told her that. I also helped dress her because she asked me to. I didn’t tell her how kind and gentle she was after running around naked. Drunk Emma is somehow both crazy and sweet, much like how she is when sober, but turned up five notches.
“We aren’t dating, but she’s also not available.” I don’t take my eyes off her even as I feel Jamal’s stare on me.
“Dude, no way. You’re fucking thirty-one years old. Lock that shit down,” he says quietly.
Emma’s words echo back to me for the dozenth time since I dropped her off at her dorm this morning.
“What I feel for you is more than just sexual attraction. It’s exciting and overwhelming, but I don’t expect you to fulfill the ultimate romantic role in my life. You asked me for time, and I’m granting it because I like you as a person and a friend… And yeah, I have a crush on you, just like you have one on me. If you didn’t, then you would’ve only asked for sex and not told me that you may see some sort of future with me. Am I wrong?”
No, she was most definitely not wrong, and I admitted it. She shared something extremely personal, life-changing even, but not something that surprised me. Still, she didn’t know, and somehow, she managed not to pressure me into anything, simply letting me admit that I feel something more too, which only makes me admire her more than I already do.
Then our kiss…fuck, our kiss. It was indescribable.
Jamal isn’t wrong. I’ve been through enough, and I’m too old to be playing these stupid games, so what’s holding me back?
“I need time,” I say through clenched teeth. It’s the only reasonable explanation I can think of.
He lets out a loud sigh. “I don’t know, G. She seems like the kind of girl guys would fall on their knees for.”
“A love that consumes me, sex that fulfills all my fantasies, and a man who would get on his knees to beg for my forgiveness if the time ever came.”
I crack my neck at the reminder of what Emma wants in a man.
Jamal isn’t saying anything I haven’t already been thinking since the moment I met her. How special and unique she is…and I’m still not ready to be in a relationship with her?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
“Vivir Mi Vida” by Marc Anthony plays next, and I’m so caught up in my thoughts of Emma and me that I hardly notice Marina approaching.
“Come dance.” She pulls me toward everyone.
I shake my head and try to pull back when Emma grabs my other arm and uses all her strength—which is surprisingly a lot for such a small person—to force me to land in the middle of the group. Our eyes meet for a second, and her laugh turns into a soft smile. I swallow hard, and fuck me, I have to look away before I get lost in her in front of everybody here.
“I’m not dancing,” I tell Marina.
“You know how to,” she responds. “You’ve done it before. Don’t tell me you forgot what I taught you.” Her face twists into one of guilt, but I know her too fucking well. She’s faking it.
“Everyone knows this song. Show us your moves, white boy.” That comes from Emma’s very bold friend Kamila, who’s right next to us, moving with Emma to the beat.
Emma snorts at overhearing what Kamila said before Levi twirls her, making her squeal. Jake then does the same with Kamila. I don’t get jealous of Levi’s actions or any of her friends.First off, I have no right to be, but more importantly, they’re clearly her family. I also saw Levi’s gold band this morning when I met him.
Knowing that one of Emma’s best friends is married surprised me and made me think of my own failed marriage at a similar age. I had only congratulated him, and he gave me a very tight “Thank you. I’m a very lucky man.” He sounds much more confident than I was at twenty-two years old, I’ll give him that.
Marina pulls on my arm. “Stop looking at her like that, or everyone will know. Now, dance with me.”
I feel the color drain from my face, expecting Marina to scold me for what I’ve gotten myself into, but she doesn’t. Instead, she grabs both of my hands and moves.
Shaking my head, I give in, placing my hand on her hip, grabbing her free hand, and moving my feet and hips the way she taught me when I was a teenager. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I’m quite good at this. My cooks whistle at us and cheer us on. I lift a hand and flip the fuckers off as I twirl and dip Marina at the end of the song as a joke.
“Grayson! I’m too old for this!” she yells, and I pull her back up, laughing. She slaps my arm and rubs her lower back. “Mierda.”
Shaking my head, I clap once to get everyone’s attention. “Back to work, everyone, or else we’re never getting out of here.”
Groans fill the room along with mumbled curses. I ignore them. I’m tired. I just want to go home and finish myNew York Timescrossword puzzle in peace.
Unless I can convince Emma to come over, but with all her friends here and the work she always has to do, I highly doubt that’s possible. She’s one of the busiest people I’ve ever met, and that’s why we still haven’t had sex in a bed.
