‘Years, apparently.’ Years. It’s not entirely his fault though, darling. The sex side of things faded out quite a long time ago between Joe and I, particularly with my back troubles and …’
‘That’s not the point, Dad. That isnotthe point. If he was feeling unhappy about things he should have said something, talked to you …’
‘But that’s the thing. Hewashappy. As far as he was concerned it was a perfect compromise. He loves me. He’s always loved me. He would never have done anythingto hurt me. Which is why he chose to sate his, er, appetite in such an anonymous fashion. He never, ever thought it would impinge on our relationship …’
‘But you found out. How? How did you find out?’
‘Well, that’s the thing, darling. That’s the very, er, difficult thing’
‘Difficult?’
‘Yes. You see, despite taking every precaution, despite being one of the most intelligent, most aware people I know, Joe somehow managed to become – infected.’
Bee’s vision clouded for a second and she covered her eyes with her fingers.
‘Yes – he got the test results last week. He’s HIV positive, darling.’
Bee gulped, painfully, and dragged her fingers from her eyes to her lips.
‘And you see, even though we haven’t been all that sexually active as a couple over the years, that doesn’t mean to say that we haven’t had our moments, our occasional moments. And …’
‘No,’ said Bee, through her fingers, ‘no …’
‘Well, yes, darling. It does seem that way. And …’
‘No … no’
‘Yes. But darling, you know as well as I do, they’re already making huge advances in medicine and …’
‘Palliative medicine, Dad. Drugs that make it easier for you to die, not drugs to help you live.’
‘No. That’s not true. There are developments every day. And I’m in the very earliest stages. I’ve only been infected for a short while. By the time the virus starts to develop …’
‘Stop it! Stop it now. I can’t listen to this.’ She put her hands over her ears.
Gregor pulled them away. ‘Everything’s going to be all right, my sweet. I promise you. Everything is going to be just dandy.’
‘No. It’s not. It’s not going to be all right. One minute you’re a healthy middle-aged man enjoying his retirement and the next you’ve gotAIDSand it’s all that bastard’s fault. That dirty bastard. He’s disgusting. I mean –cottaging.In stinky, pissy, shitty toilets. After everything you’ve done for him. Fed him, clothed him, let him into a world he’d never have been welcome in if it wasn’t for you. Given him a life – you gave him life, Dad. I hate him. I hate him.’ Bee’s face was scarlet and her face was wet with tears. ‘I’ve never, ever hated anyone so much in my life.’ Her fists were tight and hard.
‘Please. Bee. Don’t take this out on Joe. Don’t be angry with him. It’s not his fault. Blame God. Blame bad luck. Blame poorly constructed condoms. But please don’t blame Joe.’
‘Oh, but I do. I really, really do. Where is he?’
‘Joe?’
‘Yes, Joe. Where is he?’
‘He’s, er … he’s at the hospital. In Angoulême.’
‘What for?’
‘You see, he’s very, very ill. That’s why he had the test. He’s not been well for a while. He’s had pneumonia.’
‘How long has he been there?’
‘A couple of weeks. I haven’t been able to bring myself to see him yet.’
‘But why didn’t you tell me before?’
