‘What? No! Goodness, no. Nothing to do with you. We were just … we were mismatched. That was all. She wasn’t … enough. In some ways. She was too much in others. She wanted another baby. But it didn’t happen. She went very into herself. Very deeply into herself.’
‘You know,’ Owen begins slowly, ‘I saw something once. When I was about eleven. I saw Mum, in the living room, wearing sexy lingerie. There were candles. She pulled you in. And then …’
Owen’s dad sighs. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I did tell her. I told her you might walk in. I told her it was stupid.’
‘You called her a whore. And then you split up after that. Was she a whore? My mum? Is that why you left us?’ He knows the answer, of course he does, but he needs to hear his dad say it.
‘Your mother? Oh, God, no, of course not!’
‘So why did you call her a whore?’
‘Oh, Owen. God. I don’t even remember saying it.’
‘You said,Act like a whore, I’ll treat you like a whore.’
Owen feels a muscle twitch in his cheek as he waits for his dad to respond.
‘Did I say that?’
‘Yes. You did.’
‘Well. It was a bad time for us. You know. We were drifting apart. She knew I’d met someone. She was … I suppose she was desperate. Trying anything to keep me. And there’s something so dreadful about a desperate woman, Owen. So dreadful.’
They both fall silent for a moment. Then his dad says, ‘You know I loved your mum, Owen. I loved her very much. And you.’
‘Me?’
‘Yes. Leaving you behind killed me.’
‘Did it?’
‘Of course it did. You were my boy. Just on the cusp of it all. Just about to blossom. But I was under pressure. Gina wasn’t getting any younger. She wanted to start trying for a family immediately. She pulled me, really pulled me very hard, away from you both. And I can see now that that wasn’t easy for you.’
‘So you didn’t leave because Mum was a whore. You left because Gina wanted you all to herself.’
His dad nods. ‘Essentially. Yes.’
Owen pauses to absorb this.
‘And you let me leave when I was eighteen because Gina wanted her family to herself?’
‘Again, there were other factors at play. But yes. There was some … pressure there.’
Another silence falls; then Owen says, ‘Dad. What do you think about women? Do you like them?’
‘Like them?’
‘Yes.’
‘Of course I like them! Goodness. Yes. Women are remarkable. And I’ve been blessed that two of them have let me share their lives with them. I mean, look at me …’ He gestures at himself. ‘I’m not exactly catch of the day, am I? I’ve been punching above my weight all my life. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.’
There’s a sound at the door and Owen turns and there’s Gina. She’s wearing a black satin blouse with dark flowers printed on it and tight blue jeans. Her hair is dyed a shiny mahogany and up in a ponytail. She’s pushing sixty but still looks youthful.
‘Oh,’ she says. ‘I thought I heard voices. Ricky’ – she looks at Owen’s dad –‘what’s going on?’
‘They let him out, Gina. This morning. Dropped all charges. He’s a free man.’
‘Oh.’ She clearly doesn’t know what to say. ‘That’s good then?’
