When I pull away, I see his smile and I grab his phone out of his hand.
Click.
“I win,” I say, biting his lower lip as I toss the phone across the room, knowing I won’t need this picture, because I’ll remember this moment—coming home to my house with Hudson, myboyfriend, my best friend—for the first time, forever.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Hudson
We spend the weekend locked up in Trey’s house, showing each other how much we missed one another. And we do it all over the house, christening each room. It wasn’t purposeful, it just sort of happened. I knew I missed him, but after seeing him… it really hit me how much.
We did other things of course, too. We watched movies. Sat in front of the fire. Ate—both the food in the house and ordered in. We also slept a little… not much, but it was still sleep, and it was good. Comfortable.
But today is Monday, and I have to go back to work because I didn’t take time off. As I see the disappointed look on Trey’s face, I wonder if maybe I should have. But this is work, it’s myschedule, and this is what I normally do. I hadn’t anticipated changing my entire schedule for him being here, even though as I leave, I find myself missing him again.
Still, I drive to work and go about my normal business.
The day goes by fine, as typical as a Monday would. We text back and forth. He sends me photos of him re-arranging things in his house and of a list of things that he wants to get, and asked if I would go with him after work to do it. I tell him we can and that we could also grab dinner while we’re out.
The idea of being out with Trey doesn’t bother me, but the idea of PDA does make me a little uncomfortable. And not because he’s a guy, just in general. I’d feel this way about anyone, not just him. It’s just one of those things for me and hopefully it won’t bother him… hopefully he will understand. And I hope like hell it isn’t one of those things he brushes off and blames on the autism. I’m so used to people blaming that for everything and forgetting that I am still a person underneath.
I can’t let that bother me though. I have to not think about it and trust that Trey wouldn’t judge me like that. But I still think it’s going to be a little voice in the back of my head for the rest of my life. I hate that he knows. Even after everything, I hate that he knows this about me.
Trey is at my house when I get out of work.
“Hey,” I say with a smile, my chest warming at the sight of him getting out of his car.
He smiles back, nearly grinning. “How was work?”
I shrug as I pull him to me, kissing him. “Just work. Same as always.”
We head up the steps to my house and go inside so I can change out of my work clothes.
“Any idea where you want to go for dinner?” he calls out.
“Hadn’t thought about it much. But there is a good Italian place near the shopping plaza. Pasta is usually a safe food,” I say as I pull my shirt over my head and walk out of the room.
There’s a strange look on his face. He swallows hard. “You have safe foods?” he questions.
My chest gets tight, my lungs refusing to work. Did I say that out loud?
Gritting my teeth, I quickly say, “Yeah.”
He knows I’m brushing him off. I see the offended look on his face.
“Well, can you tell me about that?”
I whirl to face him. “Trey, I told you I didn’t want to talk about this.”
“But you brought it up.”
“I didn’t mean to,” I admit. “It just came out and it’s not a big deal. You have favorite foods too. That’s all it is.”
“Hudson—”
“Please, don’t push this,” I say.
We hold each other’s gaze for a long moment, as hard as it is for me. I still do it.
