I double check my bag to make sure everything is packed. My flight leaves in a couple hours, and I need to be on the way to the airport or I’m going to miss my flight.
Trey doesn’t know that I changed mine, though I guess he could assume. Or maybe he’s waiting and wanting to use it as a way to talk to me. He’s going to be shocked when someone else is sitting beside him on the plane.
The hotel may be another story. Cameron and Austen got a room block, and so we’re all staying in the same hotel, but I am going to ask to be put in a separate area than the others. It shouldn’t be a problem, since the blocks don’t have to be near each other, just the same types of room, but I guess we will see what happens. It’s not a large hotel, and it’s possible I’ll run into him anyway, but maybe not. Maybe, for once, I’ll get lucky and things will go my way.
At the wedding though… well, there won’t be any way to get out of seeing him then. I only hope that he doesn’t make a scene.
I leave my bags by the door and make sure my windows and back door are locked. The stove and oven are off. Everything looks good for me to leave.
I get an alert on my phone that the driver is pulling up, so I grab my stuff and head outside, meeting the car.
The nice older man helps me get my bags into the trunk, even though I tell him it isn’t necessary.
I close my eyes, half asleep as I’m driven to the airport. I haven’t slept well the last few days, and I only have Trey to blame for that. Myself too, I guess. I allowed this to happen. I saw all the hints along the way and ignored him. That incident at the restaurant should have been enough for me, but I kept pushing on. Kept trying to make Trey okay with something that he’s clearly not okay with. But I found something that I was finallyokay with, that worked for me and didn’t make me feel broken, and I just really wanted it.
And now look. What do I have? I’m right back to being alone.
The hotel is small and quaint, just a few blocks from the venue. It’s been a quiet couple of days being locked in my hotel room. A couple of the guys got in on Thursday, while the rest got here yesterday. I told them I had some issues and won’t be there until Saturday morning—today—which was a lie. I’ve been here since Wednesday, and hiding alone in the room, ordering takeout and doing nothing but sleeping and lazing around, has been good.
Sort of.
Maybe not.
I open the bathroom door to let the steam out and grab my underwear to put them on. My suit is hanging up in the closet, thankfully not a wrinkle in it. I dry my hair, style it, then finish getting dressed and leave my room, holding my head high and hoping to not run into a single person I know while on the way.
Funny how much this reminds me of last year and heading to the opening. I was alone then too. Walking into a bunch of people I’ve always considered friends but felt like I no longer knew.
That’s still true, only it’s not. Not entirely, anyway. I know Trey almost better than I know myself at this point, and I don’t know what to think about that. Because he should be here with me, and he’s not.
“Hudson! Hey, Hudson!”
I look over my shoulder and find Paul and Andre walking together toward me. Paul raises his hand.
I smile and wait for them to catch up. “Hey,” I say.
“Glad you made it,” Andre says. “You get in okay?”
“Yeah, just fine.”
“I was worried you wouldn’t make it,” Paul says.
“They should have had a later ceremony,” Andre says as we walk through the sliding doors and out into the New York crowd.
Paul and Andre chat easily, like they do it all the time. Just having normal conversation, and I wonder if I should say something to them. They’re my friends. Have been as long as Trey.
“So, uh… how have you guys been?” I ask as we walk in the direction of the wedding venue.
They look at each other.
“Not bad,” Paul says.
“Same,” Andre adds. “Just life, you know?”
“Yeah, kind of. I’ve been dealing with some stuff.”
“Yeah? Work?”
I shake my head. “No, work is fine.”
