Trey
Alex hands me a drink as I scan the crowd for Mandy, periodically checking my phone.
“Thanks,” I say, taking a long sip. “So, how long are you staying?”
Alex shrugs, taking a sip of his cocktail. It’s bright pink and in one of those fancy glasses that comes with more fruit than any drink should ever come with, but that’s Alex Brewer for you.
He doesn’t give a shit about what anyone thinks about him, and sometimes I wish I could be like that. Life would be a lot easier, for sure.
“I fucking hate these things,” Alex grumbles.
“Why? You don’t have to do anything except look pretty, sign autographs, and take pictures.”
Alex narrows his eyes at me.
“Yeah, and I have to bat off needy reps trying to sell me shit, too, you know.”
I roll my eyes.
“I have never once asked you to sign a deal.”
Alex glares at me. “I know.”
“Do youwantme to offer you an endorsement contract?” I ask, feeling strangely put off by his tone.
“Not now I don’t,” he snarks at me, and I let out a heavy sigh. Typical Alex.
“What’s your deal tonight?” Alex asks, his gaze landing on a few players in the corner taking photos and being loud and obnoxious.
Was I that bad when I was in my early twenties?
I think back to our trip here in Vegas, but a lot of it is blurred out at this point. Though I can’t help but think about the parts I do remember…
Drinking with Huds. Taking care of him. Sharing a bed.
I vaguely remember wanting to kiss him then, but we were drunk and I just thought it was because of that, but now…
Now I can’t help but wonder if it wasn’t because of something else.
I glance at Alex, the words lodged in my throat.
“What do you mean?”
“You look like someone pissed in your fucking corn flakes, Kelly. Not exactly the vibe I expect from you.”
“I just… got a lot on my mind,” I say. It’s not untrue. Idohave a lot on my mind.
Austen and Cameron’s wedding is only a few days away. I don’t know how it felt like we had all this time, and now…
Now it’s here, and while I’m happy for my friends, I can’t lie and say I’m not anxious as hell about essentially coming out to everyone. I know it’s something that needs to happen because Iwantpeople to know that I’m happy, thatwe’rehappy… together, but there’s also a part of me that worries I’m making a huge mistake. Like putting it out there will somehow ruin things, even though I know that’s crazy.
We’ve been together for seven months. I bought a house to be close to Hudson. I told him I love him. He hasn’t said it back. In fact, he’s acted like everything’s just… normal. I’ve said it a few times now, and I’m trying not to obsess over it, but it’s hard. I don’t want to push him, and I’m not unhappy with where we are, but…
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want more.
I’ve always wanted more, I think. Since the first time he kissed me during that storm, when we got stranded.
Maybe even before that. Maybe I just didn’t realize it.
