After my confession, the room was so quiet you could hear Carrie’s lawyer’s freshly poured Coke fizzing in its glass. I glanced around and saw different looks on people’s faces. My lawyer clearly pitied me. The mediator surreptitiously wiped a tear from her eye. Carrie’s lawyer squirmed awkwardly in his seat as if he were embarrassed for me.
But Carrie? She didn’t bat an eyelash, and her brown eyes were still cold. “Maybe you should see if Madison’s willing to take you back so you’re not alone at night. You might not remember this,” she said in a tone of voice I’d never heard from her before, “but I went to sleep alone night after night for months while you enjoyed fancy dinners with your first love. Your mistress.I don’t feel sorry for you.” She hissed out the last words at me, and they sucked the air from my lungs.
The pain of what I’d done to her hit me again, even harder this time than it had in the past. I couldn’t contain a smallgasping sound I made as I tried to draw breath into my lungs. “I’m so…”
“I don’t care.” Carrie looked at me like I was worse than a murderer. Then she turned to Mrs. Johnson whose eyes were bouncing between us to see what would happen next. “Ms. Iris? I don’t want to talk to him except about custody arrangements.”
“Of course.” She cleared her throat and sat up straight. Once she had composed herself, she said. “Let’s get back on track. Mr. Caldwell, you still live in town. But what position do you hold at your company?”
“I’m the CEO.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You say you’d like joint custody. I think we all need to hear the logistics of how that could work."
It would be hard. I knew that. But for my child? To be near Carrie and try my hardest to regain what I’d lost? I was willing to do anything. “I’ll make it work.”
Carrie snorted. “It’s easy to say that now. It’ll be a lot harder when you have to miss a meeting with an important client or board member. What happens then?”
My lawyer stared at me like he agreed.
“I’ll work it out. It’s as much Bryce and Celia’s company as it is mine. The three of us can handle it together. They’re more than willing. If I need to hire someone else or force Olive to grow up and take a position at the company, I most definitely will. I want joint custody.”
Carrie crossed her arms over her chest, and I could see in her face that joint custody was the last thing she wanted. Finally, she sighed and her shoulders seemed to bow inwards as if she’d given up. “Fine. We can try joint custody. But if it ever becomes a problem, I’ll file for primary custody immediately.”
“Thank you,” I said, grateful she would give me a chance to be the dad I wanted to be.
“It’s not for you,” she said quickly. It felt like she slapped me and she must have seen the look on my face. “I’m not trying to be mean. Just honest. None of this is for you. It’s for my child.”
I nodded. She couldn’t even stand to call the baby ‘our’ child.
Everyone was quiet. Mrs. Johnson waited a few moments. “Well, then. Let’s get these changes drawn up, and you can sign the paperwork after your lawyers have a chance to look things over. After that, I’d anticipate your marriage being dissolved within three months.”
Carrie nodded, stood up, grabbed her things, and headed for the exit without ever looking back at me. I stared after her but got nothing in return.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Thatcher
A few months later, I stared at Carrie across the room. She looked so beautiful. I vaguely remember hearing that pregnant women had a glow about them, and that they looked healthy and gorgeous a lot of the time. I’d thought it was some bullshit thing people say to make them feel better for all the weight they had to gain in order to grow a human.
Now I knew it wasn’t pure crap. Carrie was always a pretty woman. Beautiful, even. But this was above and beyond what she usually looked like. I looked at my ex-wife and couldn’t help thinking that I’d only seen her lookthisgorgeous a handful of times in our lives. One of the times was at our wedding, but that was too painful to think about now. I winced inwardly when I thought about how my feelings for Madison had clouded even that happy day. If only I’d realized that I had the woman who should have always been my first choice right beside me at the altar that day. Instead, I’d allowed an old, toxic relationship to color everything about my life.
I had extreme regrets.
“Thank you so much for having me,” I heard my mom say. I looked up, watching her like a hawk. She’d wanted to host an elaborate shower in Atlanta that would do more to celebrate herself as a grandma than the baby. I’d laughed and told her to go ahead and host it but that neither Carrie nor I would attend.
She was only here today because Carrie had agreed she should be able to come toonebaby shower. She’d stipulated that none of Mom’s friends, not even Bitsy Moreland, would be invited or welcome. She’d also said Olive, who was making a surprisingly good social media director for Caldwell Financial, could not bring any of her friends, either.
I’d warned Mom that if she made Carrie or her family feel badat allthat I was going to make her leave. I think she thought I wasn’t serious.
She had no idea how serious I was.
“This is such a homey little house,” she said to Mrs. Crenshaw, whose smile froze on her face. “I don’t know how you can make such a small amount of square footage work for you,” she laughed. “I really don’t. If I ever think of downsizing, I’ll have to call you for advice,” she said putting her hand on Mrs. Crenshaw’s arm and leaning towards her like she was saying something really friendly and nice.
She was so ridiculous. The Crenshaw’s home was basically a mansion. It was three stories with a finished basement. It had a pool, outdoor kitchen, a pickleball court, a guest house, and extensive gardens. She was being mean on purpose, as usual.
I glanced at Carrie, hoping she hadn’t heard. But her eyes were trained on our mothers, and I saw a pink flush stain her cheeks.
I stood up and walked over to the two women. My mom looked up and realized I was coming over to her. She looked mildly uneasy.
