“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” she interrupted.
“Your champagne, ma’am,” the server said as she arrived at our table. She uncorked the bottle and poured a glass for Madison. Madison acted as if she wasn’t even there. She didn’t say thank you or acknowledge the woman in any way.
The server turned to me. “Would you care for any?”
“No, thank you.” I smiled at her. She nodded and walked away.
“You’d think they’d have better help at a restaurant like this one,” Madison complained.
I started to defend the woman, but she interrupted me. “Don’t you want some more?”
“No. I’m good.” I didn’t drink at lunch at all. But I rarely ever drank champagne. I preferred whiskey or wine, but Madison would drink nothing else.
I looked at Madison for a moment and couldn’t help comparing her to Carrie again. This time, Carrie was the clear winner between the two of them. Yes, Madison was more sophisticated and fit into my world better than my wife did. But there were parts of my world that I hated.
I had to be careful not to forget that.
There’d been a reason why I’d loved being in Carrie’s world in Indigo Falls. At first, anyway. I’d been able to relax. I hadn’t felt constantly on alert, constantly being judged.
And the way those in my world treated people in customer service or staff around the home was abysmal. I hated it. Madison’s attitude made me uneasy. I couldn’t keep up the illusion that she was perfect yet watch her treat people in the way she just had.
Carrie would never have treated a server the way Madison did. She was always kind and polite. She listened to people, always making them feel comfortable and at home around her. Carrie had been raised by a mother who was fairly snobby, but none of that had rubbed off on her. Even if it had, Carrie’s mother on her worst day was infinitely more tolerable than my mother on her best.
Carrie would never embarrass me by treating a server in a restaurant as if they were somehow less than human. On theother hand, Madison knew the exact right things to say to my mother’s high society friends. Carrie… didn’t.
So, which was better? Fitting in with the people I was likely to do business with and be around for the rest of my life? Or being kind to everyone?
The fact of the matter was that I shouldn’t be comparing them at all. I was married to Carrie. Technically, I’d made my choice. I should be happy with it and move on. I should quit seeing Madison outside of work hours and try to focus on my neglected marriage.
That’s what Ishoulddo.
But a little voice in the back of my head kept reminding me that when I chose Carrie, Madison hadn’t been an option.
Once we got back to the car, Madison put her hand over mine. “Please, Thatch. Let me make you feel good.”
I knew she was offering to suck me off. I raised the partition between us and the driver. I didn’t want him to hear what was going on. He often drove Carrie and me, and I felt like he was looking at me with disapproving eyes.
I turned to her. “Mads, I’ve told you. I’m not going to cheat on Carrie. Not like that.” Had I cheated on her by taking Madison to lunch and dinner more time than I could remember? Yes. Had I cheated by texting and emailing her countless times over the past few months? Yes. But I hadn’t physically cheated with her. Not even a kiss. I refused to be like my father.
She smiled seductively and leaned towards me, making sure I could see down her low-cut dress. “Come on, Thatch. I’ll just go down on you. That’s not even really sex.”
I was tempted, and she could tell. I was rock hard and there was no hiding it. She grinned as she saw how she affected me. I was also going through an internal struggle I’m sure she could see on my face. She moved closer and ran her hand up and down my thigh before squeezing it. I had to bite back a groan.
I wanted to give in. I wanted to let her suck me off. I gritted my teeth, clenched my jaw, and reminded myself that I was married. And my wife deserved better than this.
I considered oral to be ‘real’ sex, and I sure as hell knew Carrie would. I couldn’t do that to her. I wasn’t going to bethatman. I wasn’t going to follow in my father’s footsteps.
I finally took a deep breath and moved away from her. “No. That’s not going to happen Madison.”
She looked angry briefly, before she shrugged. “Your loss.” She sat back and smoothed her dress as she looked out the window. “You know I hate to be disappointed, Thatcher. And that really disappointed me.”
I couldn’t stand hearing her say that, and I realized that I was willing to do almost anything to get her to stay with me. Except cheat on Carrie. “Can I make it up to you? Maybe we could go away for a weekend somewhere.”
“I don’t know that I want to have a romantic weekend where I don’t get to have sex, Thatch.”
I rubbed a hand over my face. I didn’t know the best way to handle this. I wasn’t going to tell Carrie I wanted a divorce. Not until I was sure that Madison was mine, and not while Carrie was trying to work on the Orchid Ball. That would be cruel.
So, I kept my resolve strong. “Okay, no trips away then.” I noticed the flicker of surprise on her face. She’d thought I’d cave under pressure from her.
