“Physically…yes. Actually pretty damn spectacular,” I admitted with a pant as I ran carefully toward the secure cabin, my cock still humming from being buried in the most perfect creature on the planet. “But I…I fucked up. I fucked uprealbad.”
Chapter 4
Hailey
Ihad done some pretty monumentally stupid things in my life. The time I got a little too tipsy in college and decided that the football players needed to see my thong sprang to mind.
Yet, somehow, this took the cake.
Worse than underwear-revealing hijinks.
After I had finally pulled myself together, I made my way home in a sluggish daze. There were so many sensations ricocheting through my body that I couldn't make heads nor tails of them. My heart was racing, and there was a tugging deep inside me, like I needed to go back to Preston.
Only, he had run off back to where he came from.
To theconvictfirefighter camp.
Becausehewas a convict.
Locked upin jail.
Only allowed out to fight fires and do good in the community. Though I wasn't sure what good he was doing by bonding with me and leaving me alone, reeling, as I’d had to find my way home with his scent and bite still stinging my skin.
It took three times longer than normal to return to my apartment because I took severalwrong turns, despite knowingthe route like the back of my hand. Everything was hazy and crystal clear. I felt right and wrong, all at the same time.
As soon as the door closed behind me in my little home, the emotions welled over, and I burst into deep, messy sobs.
Part of me was surprised that I had made it all the way home before breaking down. I crawled into my nest with my favorite throw pillow that I'd grabbed from the couch. With it clutched to my chest, I bawled my eyes out.
My nest was my safe space. White with pink accents and bows, I had curated the space carefully, as all omegas did. Taking painstaking time to pick out each item, visiting numerous nesting stores to find ones that fit my vision perfectly.
Usually, the dreamy space would comfort me, but at the moment, sobbing violently, all I could feel was the overwhelming sense that the nest waspainfullyempty.
Preston should have been there with me. My omega was screaming out for him, for the alpha who’d bonded to me.
I’d sent a text to Alice to let her know I had been with someone and made it back to my apartment, and she’d sent me several thumbs-up emojis in response. Once I was sure no one was going to come looking for me, I let myself truly wallow.
I guess that’s what I was waiting for, silent permission to fall apart.
One night. I would give myselfone nightto feel all the things.
Then I would have to pick myself up and figure out what the fuck I was going to do about all this.
Bonding wasn't quite as permanent as most people thought.
There were several medications and chemical IVs that could be used to simulate breaking a bond. It was an intensive medical procedure and—quite often—could be fatal. Still, technically, it was an option.
Those who came out the other side often reported feeling lesser. It was basically ripping out a huge part of yourself.
Plus, no doctor recommended it unless it was in extreme circumstances. The only time I’d met someone who had gone through chemical unbonding was a sweet single mother who’d needed to do it to get away from her abusive pack. No matter how crappy she felt after the process, it was better than what she was enduring with them.
Was that even an option in my case, though?
There were programs out there, almost like conjugal visits for omegas whose alphas were in jail. But I was fairly sure that if it came out that I was bonded to a convict, I would lose my job. So, the way I saw it, I had two options in front of me. Hide it and try my best to get through my life, ignoring our connection. Or announce to the world what I had done and lose the job that I adored more than anything.
It was astounding how much mess a little bit of dick could get you into.
The next day, I called in sick to work. I was meant to be working an evening shift, but by the time four in the afternoon rolled around, I still felt like I had been hit by a truck.
