‘Christ Almighty, if I have to hear Eugene say one more word about that bloody puppy getting stuck in the blinds…’
She stops whispering to take us both in. Her eyes dart back and forth, observing and assessing our body language in a split second. And without saying a word her mouth forms an ‘O’ as she does an embarrassing pantomime wink at us.
My cheeks burn and, when I look at Cam, he is equally unnerved. She’s even worse than Tyrone.
‘Say no more,’ she says, holding up her hand as though to stop us divulging our huge secret, even though the first two people we come across have figured it out immediately. ‘I’m so pleased for you,’ she whispers in my ear as she hugs me close. She reaches into her bag and pulls out the red lipstick she is wearing.
Cam steps outside while we swap clothes. Once we emerge, Cam indicates that we need to move fast and, before I have time to say anything, he swoops in and places a light kiss on my lips. ‘See you soon,’ he mouths. We part ways. Me, heart thumping deliciously as I walk towards the sea, and Cam and Lois, scurrying back to the hidden car.
‘Hi, I’m back,’ I say, approaching Eugene. He is talking to one of the camera crew.
‘Hi. They said we can have me talk briefly about what type of woman I’m attracted to, and then we can head back before it gets too dark. Apparently, there are jaguars here that hunt at night.’ He looks petrified.
We are instructed to sit facing the sunset while they do a shot of us from behind. Eugene is staring longingly at the sea with a faraway look in his eye.
‘Floppy would love this. She loves a good sunset over the open ocean. She can sit and watch me fishing for hours and hours without a word of complaint.’
‘She sounds like your ideal woman.’
‘She is. She absolutely is.’
‘So, your ideal type is someone very like your dog?’
‘Yes.’
He’s such a red flag.
‘So, ideally you’re after a woman who is good at cocking a leg, sniffing gates and licking her genitals in public?’
I’m not helping myself here, but Cam has got me high as a kite with his sheer loveliness. I am experiencing huge cravings for him. He has been gone less than twenty minutes and my body aches for him. On the plus side, no one has noticed that I am not Lois.
* * *
We travel back to the villa in eerie silence. All of us are watching out for animals that accidentally stray onto the road. Porscha’s male assistant, River, is driving and our runner is up front. It’s time to start putting Tyrone’s plan into action.
‘Eugene, what do you think of Destiny? She’s awesome, right?’
‘Perfect, yeah. The whole package. Those bangs. So cool.’
‘I’m not surprised she’s with Cameron. They make a very cute couple.’
River twists briefly in his seat before turning his eyes back to the road. It is getting very dark.
‘Who is Cameron? Was he a bombshell?’ Eugene asks.
‘No. He’s one of the executive producers. I saw him and Destiny making out. I thought it was common knowledge. Please don’t say anything.’
‘No. Of course not. He’s a helluva lucky dude to pull her.’
‘And Mimi has said she’s open. Did you know that she volunteers at an animal rescue centre? She’s mad about pets, especially dogs.’
His eyebrows shoot up in the dim light of the car. ‘Really? She never mentioned it.’
‘No, she wouldn’t. She keeps the obsession quiet. You won’t mention it to her, will you?’
‘No. But Floppy could do with a strong female figure in her life. I’ll definitely pull Mimi for a chat. She’ll love hearing about the time Floppy got stuck in the blinds.’
‘She definitely will. Oh, and one more thing. Can you let Winston know that Amber is totally ready to make a commitment? Porscha asked me to tell him, but I forgot. He needs to pick her at the recoupling tonight.’
