Cam slides his eyes to mine. ‘Wrong jungle. Wrong continent. Are you sure you’re an educator?’
‘I was speaking hypothetically.’ The only jungle I’ve ever seen is inThe Jungle Book. ‘I meant tiger.’
‘Try a monkey or a jaguar.’
‘Good job I don’t teach zoology then,’ I say, laughing.
‘I think you’ll find the study of animals comes under science. And I’m pretty certain you teach that in schools.’
He’s right! It does.
I will try to style it out. He couldn’t possibly know the UK national curriculum. We can barely keep up with the changes ourselves. ‘Which one of us is the teacher here?’ I ask in a light tone.
‘Judging by this conversation, you could hardly tell,’ he says wryly, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.
He’s cheeky but I will let it go because: one, he’s in the right; and two, he’s woken up this morning looking perfect. Whereas I am a sweaty, hot mess.
After forty minutes of revealing how little research I have done on this fascinating country, we pull up at the airport and make our way inside the terminal. Stepping into the cool air-conditioned hustle and bustle is bliss. Even the walk from the car park had rivers of sweat pouring down my face.
After a mere thirty minutes of queueing, two minutes of Cam sounding very annoyed in Spanish and some shaking of heads and slapping of papers, we are leaving the airport terminal empty-handed and making our way back to the car.
Cam is muttering expletives under his breath. ‘Why tell me they have it when they clearly haven’t?’
‘What do you mean? Why can’t they find my luggage?’
Cam stops marching to face me. ‘Oh, they’ve found it. They know exactly where it is.’
‘Great! Where is it?’
‘Dubai. It’s being treated as a terrorist threat. Apparently, they found suspicious items inside. A digital thermometer, a tourniquet, bottles of antibacterial liquids and a penlight?’ He doesn’t seem impressed. ‘It’s hardly going to be your case, is it?’
Ah. I should explain.
‘Lois. My sister the nurse? What you’re describing is essentially a complete medi-pack. It could save lives.’
The frustration falls from his face as he laughingly rolls his eyes. ‘Hah. I should’ve known. Well, I doubt you’ll get any of that back, but the good news is they have promised to forward the rest of the luggage, you know, the really important stuff, your high heels and your hairpieces. It should be on a flight today or tomorrow.’
‘I love how you are taking my wardrobe so seriously.’ My voice is dripping with playful sarcasm. ‘Thank you so much for helping me get it back. I really can’t live without my stick-on eyelashes.’
‘Who could?’
‘Does that mean you might even let me go on the show?’ I say, treating him to my best adorable smile.
‘I could get into a lot of trouble if I do.’
Now that I’m here, I feel it would be rude at least not to try and win the hundred grand.
‘Would it help if I said mine and Lois’s signatures are virtually identical and that her fiancé says only a thorough forensic investigation would tell them apart, and that unless either of us confessed, LoveIt TV would never know? And he’s an up-and-coming lawyer so…’
‘Except, as the show’s producer, you have confessed to LoveIt TV. Twice.’
I am never drinking free wine ever again.
‘You’re right. I’m sorry for putting you in this situation and I’m sorry we’ve had a wasted trip to the airport, but I did enjoy the ride through the jungle. It was worth coming all this way just for that. Maybe we’ll see some giraffes or zebras on the way back.’
Cam studies me as I fiddle with my hospital gown, exposing my bikini in the process. ‘We can do better than that. Come on. I need to show you something. But first, we’ll pick up some clothes for you in town. Get whatever you need. You can also send a list to Jake, your runner, when we get back. We can always say you didn’t confess until tomorrow.’
‘Cool. Thanks. One more day in paradise. I’ll take it.’
