“You know you can talk to us about anything.” Jordan added, taking the seat across from me at the table. Jordan had been around for all of the crap with my surgery when I was younger—watched the damage it had done to my family. She was always to there to lend a sympathetic ear when I really needed one.
“What is actually on your mind, the real weight? Not the having no friends think, not the being dumped thing. There’s something bigger than that.” Myla was going for the big guns right off the bat.
“Gavin told you about last night, didn’t he?” I cocked my head to the side as Myla bit her lip.
“He is my husband, but I thought that maybe since you’d had some time to think about it, there could be more to the story.”
I took a deep breath in before bluntly stating, “A man died for me to live, and what do I have to show for his sacrifice?”
Myla’s brow furrowed as her lips parted a bit, and it took her a few seconds to respond. “That man died and donated his organs so that his death wouldn’t be in vain.”
Jordan jumped right in to add, “Remember, Griff, you’re probably not the only one that lives because that man passed away from an accident you had nothing to do with and no control over. It’s not like you were there at his jobsite and ran him over. That’s someone else’s burden. Think about it, since he was an organ donor, his could have lungs gone to someone, and same thing with his liver, kidneys, and perhaps even his skin. Think about it.” Jordan leaned across the metal table to put her hand on my arm and I let my gaze wander up to her kind, round eyes. “Just take peace in knowing that he was most likely able to help so many people.”
Myla went on further, “He’s probably smiling down at you, so proud of the life you lead because of his generosity. Do you know how incredible you are? Please don't forget how many titles you’ve won, how many charities you’ve been able to support, how much work you’ve done raising money for all that medical research! Think about it—you’re doing amazing things with your second chance. Everything that anyone ever could hope for, you’ve done it!”
“It doesn’t feel good enough,” I whisper, clearing my throat. “It doesn’t feel like I’m doing enough. There’s something I need to do.” Right as the words left my lips, it clicked. “His daughter was left behind. A young girl lost her father that day because of me.”
Myla started shaking her head. “Not because of you. You did not cause that accident. You didn’t make that forklift driver fuck up. You did not make him forget to wear his protective gear. That’s not your fault.”
I threw my hands onto the table. “The stars sure damn well aligned for it to feel like my fucking fault.”
Jordan’s face got stern as she reminded me once again of the facts, like she had done countless times when I was younger. “Griffin, you were sixteen. You had an infection that destroyed your heart. How could that possibly be your fault?”
That fight had played in my head over and over again ever since it happened. “I should have been faster. I should have anticipated where he was going next, staying two steps ahead like I was taught.” Tears started to well up in my eyes.
“You need to let yourself off the hook. No one wants a badass boxer with an oh-poor-me attitude.” Myla winked at me as her lips perked up a bit.
“Maybe I need closure?” It came out as a question, but it should have been a statement. I needed closure—it was a fact of my life that I had been searching for for ten years, and I was finally admitting it to myself.
“So, fucking get it.” Myla crossed her arms over her chest as she tapped her foot. “Go meet his daughter.”
“That’s a fucking fantastic idea.” Jordan slapped the table as a small smirk played on her lips.
I rubbed my hand frantically over my face. “That is so much easier said than done.”
“How? You know her name and where they lived when the accident happened. It can’t be that hard. If you need this bad enough, you’ll find a way.” Myla really did have a point.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I glanced up at my sister-in-law as a look of satisfaction settled in.
“Now, how about we go in and have an awkward-as-hell dinner like always?” Myla grabbed a bottle of water and took a swig. “Don’t worry, I’m going to take all the pressure off of you in about two minutes.”
“Thanks for everything, you two.” I hooked one arm around each of their necks as we walked into the dining room where the rest of my family was already sitting.
“Nice of you to join us.” Gavin teased his wife dramatically as we all took our seats.
“Oh hush.” She rolled her eyes.
“Myla, your brother and his family couldn’t attend this evening?” Mom asked sternly. She was trying to make conversation but her disapproval of Myla and her brother was palpable. It all stemmed from way back in the day when our father was teammates with Reggie Cox—Myla’s old man. It was a stupid blood feud at this point—one that my folks were to only ones that gave two flying fucks about anymore. It was extremely childish in my book.
Gavin glared at his mother as he answered for his wife. “Karla and Brayden have their hands full with their little ones. They felt like it would be too much to have them come.”
“Hopefully, by the next family dinner their children will have learned some manners and their parents won’t be embarrassed to bring them out of the house.” My mother’s nose was so high in the fucking air, I half expected her to have a nosebleed at any second.
“Mom, drop it.” I growled.
Sean and Jessica started to drum up a little bit of small talk with my mom about their decision to not have a wedding.
“It just seems to me that you deprived your loved ones of celebrating your new life together.”
