Today in the carriage, not one hour after he’d sworn not to let his anger overcome him, he’d let it drag him down again, except this time he’d pulled Charlotte under with him, and he would have taken her down further still, until the breath left her lungs.
He’d wanted to hurt her, and he’d succeeded. He didn’t trust himself not to do it again.
She must leave London at once. The further out of his reach she was, the better it was for both of them. Cam was right—he couldn’t be trusted. He couldn’t help her. Not without losing what little he had left of himself.
Julian’s gaze roamed over the crowd. For the most part it was young ladies just out in society, each of them a more emphatic portrait of pastel-clad innocence than the last, along with a judicious selection of young gentlemen who were nosing among the prospects in the marriage mart. The rest of the party were the sharp-eyed chaperones of said young ladies, and the usual set of high-sticklers, who were no doubt friends of Lady Chase’s.
Charlotte didn’t exactly blend in. Aside from the Somerset girls, everyone kept well away from her. Even the gentlemen, many of whom sent her longing glances, declined to engage her in conversation. Her position in society was precarious, to say the least. Damn it, why hadn’t Cam and the Sutherlands managed to put a stop to this sooner? It should never have come to this.
Julian turned his attention back to Lady Chase. “Her family tolerates her antics with a readiness that stuns me.”
“Antics?Is that what you call them, Captain?” Lady Chase’s eyes narrowed. “Antics are for children, sir, and I think we both know what Lady Hadley has been through is hardly child’s play.”
He didn’t reply to that. Hedidn’tknow, and he didn’t want to. He’d gone to great lengthsnotto know, and it was better for everyone if he remained ignorant.
But Lady Chase saw the truth in his face. She laid her hand on his arm as if she thought he’d try and flee. “Never say you don’t know what happened to Hadley, Captain.”
Julian tried to pull his arm out from under the old lady’s claw-like fingers. “I do not, and I don’t wish to, so if you please, my lady—”
She held him fast. “Hadley broke his neck not five months after they married. It happened on a hunt. He was showing off for his young bride, and miscalculated a jump.”
Damn it, he didn’t want to know.
“Lady Chase, I don’t care to—”
“Lady Hadley doesn’t talk about it, but I know from my granddaughters she was there when it happened. Saw the whole thing. Such a pity. Poor Hadley. God knows he was a fool, especially when it came to his wife, but he was a good enough sort.”
Julian went still as an icy numbness started in his chest and spread, cold and liquid, into the pit of his stomach.
Broke his neck not five months after they married…
Charlotte was a bride, and then in the blink of an eye, she was a widow.
Lady Chase wasn’t finished. “That was bad enough, but it wasn’t the end of it.”
He didn’t want to ask, he didn’t want to know, and yet he felt his mouth opening, heard the words emerge in a hoarse whisper. “Not the end of it?”
“No. After Hadley died there was some unpleasantness with the dowager marchioness. The poor old thing was practically on her deathbed when Hadley and Charlotte married, but unfortunately she outlived her son by several months. Such is the way of things, I suppose. As I said, Lady Hadley never speaks of it, but there are rumors—ugly ones. They say the dowager went quite mad with grief and blamed her daughter-in-law for Hadley’s death.”
Did Charlotte blame herself?
Julian instinctively reached for a denial, a way to make it not true. “But that doesn’t make any sense.”
“Grief rarely does, Captain. Charlotte stayed at Hadley House until the old woman finally passed away, though I imagine it was a dreadful ordeal for her.”
Lady Chase eased her grip on his arm, and without realizing he did it Julian rubbed the heel of his hand against the center of his chest to ease the ache there.
“Charlotte was ill for some time afterwards—I’m not certain with what. She never told any of us, though likely it was nerves and pure exhaustion. She arrived in London in March, however, as beautiful as ever, and took up right away with those appalling widows and that scoundrel, Lord Demon.”
Julian said nothing, but stood with Lady Chase at the edge of the lawn, the only sound the buzzing of the bees devouring their nectar, and watched as an endless parade of servants loaded silvers trays onto tables until the legs threatened to collapse under the weight. Liveried footmen appeared once the tables were laid to spread thick blankets here and there over the lawn.
Luncheon was served. The gentlemen moved in a rush toward the tables to prepare plates for the ladies, while the ladies picked their way daintily across the lawn, parasols shading their faces, and laid claim to the blankets.
“These are not quite theanticsyou anticipated, are they, Captain?”
Julian turned to find Lady Chase regarding him with a shrewd expression. “No. They aren’t.”
“Well, then?”
