Florian wasn’t sure how much he believed it. Kade had never lied to him, but that same small, bitter part of him was certain that Kade was going to leave him behind. Everyone always, eventually, left him behind.
“Promise?” he croaked, pushing his tear-streaked face harder into Kade’s coat.
“I promise,” Kade repeated, and Florian could feel his lips pressing on the top of his head. “I swear it. I’ll come back to you when it’s over.”
Had Kade ever given him a reason not to trust him before? Never, Florian thought—so even if he couldn’t bring himself to really believe it, he could bring himself to trust that Kade believed what he was saying—even if it hurt.
“Okay,” he said, pulling away enough to wipe his eyes. “Okay. W-When should we go?”
Kade was silent for a long while. Florian forced himself to look up, meeting the other man’s tangerine eyes that were watching him with obvious worry and sadness. Somehow it only made Florian feel worse—just last night he had been so consumed with how he could help Kade get through this, and now he was making it all about himself. Kade was still hurting, and Florian was only making it more painful for him.
“Soon,” Kade finally said. “Tomorrow, probably.”
The words stung, but resolutely Florian soldiered through it, breathing in a slow, even pattern until he thought he could speak without his voice shaking with tears anymore.
“Okay,” he mumbled. “Tomorrow. I’ll tell Koji.”
Kade kept watching him for a long moment, but Florian couldn’t read his expression.
“Okay,” he replied, his voice gravelly. “It’s not forever, Florian, I promise. It’s only going to be a little while. I don’t want to be apart, either, but... It’ll only be a little while.”
Despite everything, Kade’s words—I don’t want to be apart either—made Florian’s heart stutter all over again, and all he wanted was to comfort the other man.
“I know,” he said softly, managing a watery smile. “You’re right. I’ll be okay on my own if it’s just for a little while.”
Chapter Seventeen
KojiwasconfusedwhenFlorian explained that they would be leaving the next afternoon and why, but the dragon shifter didn’t protest. Much to Florian’s irritation, Koji seemed to quickly recognize that their departure had little to do with them and everything to do with clan politics. Not that he would have wanted Koji to have as emotional a reaction as he did, of course, but something about his simple acceptance made Florian feel even more selfish about the way he’d reacted.
At dinner, everyone was quiet and strained, but to Florian’s surprise, Meriwa joined them partway through the meal, sitting down across from Kade looking tired, but with a small smile, as if eating dinner with their big group at the cousins’ home was a regular occurrence.
“Kade told me you’ll be leaving tomorrow, King Florian,” Meriwa said softly, making Florian’s chest squeeze with guilt again. “So I wanted to make sure to get a meal with you while I still could, and thank you again for coming.”
He wasn’t certain how to respond, so he was quiet for probably longer than was polite, looking down at his plate. Finally, he looked back up at her and gave her a small smile; luckily, she seemed unsurprised by his reaction.
“You’re welcome,” he said. “Thank you for having us. I appreciate your hospitality.”
Her smile didn’t waver as she set to eating her own meal, so his response must have been acceptable. The rest of the meal was tense and quiet, and they went back to their rooms without fanfare. Koji bid him and Kade goodnight, and then they were alone.
When they laid down, Kade curled around Florian and held him tightly, clinging to him as if he were afraid he might drift away in the night. Florian lay quietly in his arms, but couldn’t sleep, his mind racing. How long would they have to be apart? Would he and Koji be able to get help from the kraken kingdom with just the two of them? The wolf kingdom was nearest to the kraken kingdom, so they had some small amount of communication—without Kade’s help, would whoever they found amongst the krakens even give them the time of day?
And would Kade still care about him after so much time apart? The thought was irrational—that, at least, he could recognize—but they had never been apart for so long. In fact, they had been together almost constantly since the day they met. What if that was all it took for Kade to decide he didn’t want to see things through after all, or worse, that his own feelings for Florian had been... fake? Exaggerated? Nothing but a trauma bond they shared from seeing Jerah die in front of them?
As if he could sense how Florian’s heart was suddenly pounding with anxiety, Kade’s arms around him tightened.
“What are you thinking about?” he whispered, and Florian could tell immediately that Kade had been just as awake as he was; there was no hint of sleep in his voice. So Florian rolled over, and Kade loosened his hold enough that Florian could look up at him, eyes gleaming in the darkness.
“I’m really going to miss you,” he said, even though it wasn’t exactly what he’d been thinking. But admitting that he was afraid Kade would want to break up when all was said and done would make him sound crazy, so he kept that fear tamped down tightly.
Suddenly, he wanted Kade very badly—wanted Kade to mark him, to make him hurt—so even if this was the last time, he’d hold the memory of it for a long time. So he leaned forward to kiss Kade, keeping the touch chaste for only a moment before pressing his tongue against his lips. Kade made a soft noise and let him in, their tongues gliding together seamlessly, the sensation sending a shiver up Florian’s spine. He leaned closer, and somehow ended up on top of Kade, his legs spread wide around Kade’s hips. He could feel the other man’s cock growing hard, pressing against him between his spread thighs.
“Florian,” Kade groaned as Florian lifted up just enough to pull down his underwear, then Kade’s, his cock springing free before Florian pressed back down against him.
“Is this okay?” he breathed, his hips rocking. Kade’s eyes were closed, but he could see them flicker open and look up at him in the dark, glowing a soft orange. “If you don’t want to...”
“Does it feel like I don’t want to?” Kade murmured, pushing his hips up to grind his hard cock against Florian’s bare ass. “Is this how you want it?”
“Yeah,” Florian said, nodding. He didn’t want to wait—didn’t want to give Kade any time to change his mind—so after pressing just a few kisses along Kade’s exposed neck and chest, he reached between them and grabbed his cock, lining himself up before sinking down onto it in one slow motion. He groaned, the sudden fullness aching, but the sharp intake of Kade’s breath was encouragement enough. Florian gave himself a quick moment to adjust before pulling back again, riding Kade in slow, long movements.
