“That’s not true.” I held Dom’s gaze. “He got sober foryou. In the hope that, if you came back one day, he’d be worthy of your time. That was his reason.”
“But you’re the one who made him see that.” Dom put his fork down and leaned on his elbows. “Why’d you do it, Shadow?”
I flashed back to that morning. To the first dawn of my life without Dominic. To the rage. The pain. The anguish. How I’d needed an outlet. “Honestly? It was for selfishreasons. I was hurting that you’d left me and I needed someone to take it out on. I knew he was one of the reasons behind you signing up, so I decided to let him know that.”
“By punching him, I gather.” Dominic shook his head. “That was reckless, Ry. He could’ve hurt you.”
I nudged my plate to the side, no longer interested in eating either. “That would’ve required him being able to swing without falling over and aim correctly. Given he could barely stand up and was probably seeing two of me, I figured it was a risk worth taking.”
Dom bit his lip. “I get that part…but why stay in touch for all these years?”
My blood ran cold. “Contrary to what you might believe, it’s not hard to pick up the phone when you care about someone.”
His expression turned bleak. “Caring was never the problem.”
Then what was?That was what I wanted to say. To scream, if I were being honest. But that’d lead us straight back into dangerous territory. It was getting more tempting with each passing minute.
“Why did you care?” Dom asked. “That’s what I don’t understand.”
I thought about it for a moment. “Frank and I…we’re more similar than I realised at first. We were both hurting after you left. I think we helped each other.”
“Frank said almost the same thing, but do you know what he said when I asked him how he helped you?”
“Well, I’m not psychic, so no.”
Dom didn’t rise to my sarcastic tone. “He said I should ask you. That it was your story to tell.”
From his intense gaze, he wasn’t going to let this go. Isighed, putting my elbows on the table and resting my chin on my hands. “It’s honestly not that big of a deal.”
Dom’s eyes narrowed. “Why don’t you tell me, then I can decide if it’s a big deal or not.”
I worried at my lip with my teeth. “The night our A-Level results came in…I got drunk.”
“At a party?”
“Not really. Got invited to a few parties but I just couldn’t face it.”
Guilt mixed with regret on Dom’s face. “I’m sorry, Shadow.”
That had me wondering whether I should continue with this story. If he felt bad about that, it was about to get much worse.
Like he could tell what I was thinking, he tapped my shin with his foot. With my feet still tucked under the chair, it was all he could reach. “Tell me the rest.”
“I don’t think you want to hear it.”
“Try me.”
Fine. I took a deep breath. “I stole a bottle of Dad’s whisky. After a few swigs, I decided to go for a walk.”
“Where?”
His gaze was too intense. I looked at the table as I answered. “The bus stop. The chippy. Down past your house.”
There was a beat of silence, and then: “All the places you associated with me.”
“Apparently whisky made me nostalgic and melancholy back then.” I forced a light chuckle. “But not capable of good decisions. By the time I got to the bottom of the bottle, I was at the railway tracks.”
I didn’t need to look at Dom to know how tense he’d become.
