His face hardened. “I never said I wouldn’t marry Kate.”
There was no hiding the pain this time. The anger parted long enough for a tear to slip free.
Ry swore, reaching up to swipe it away. “Shit. I didn’t mean it to come out like that, Dom.”
“You still said it.”
“Because it’s true.” Ry held my chin firmly when I tried to turn away, refusing to let me. “Dom, I never made you any promises. But Kate? I made a pretty fucking big one to her. I’ve always prided myself on being a man of my word. On keeping my promises.”
The fury was raging anew. “Really? Because it didn’t seem like that this past week when you were begging me to make you come.”
Ryan didn’t let go. No, his grip tightened until it bordered on painful. “Don’t. Don’t cheapen what we shared.”
“How can I not when you’re telling me it’s over?”
“When did I say that?” he demanded. “Stop putting words in my mouth, Dom, and fucking listen to me.”
I immediately fell silent. I swore even my breathing stopped, not wanting to miss a syllable of whatever he was about to say.
“I’m not saying this is over,” he said quietly, not looking away for a second. “I love you, Dom. I always have.”
Tears welled in my eyes. He hadn’t said that since the one time it had slipped out in the cabin. The flame of hope was rekindled.
“But I love Kate too.” He doused the hope as quickly as it had arrived. “If I turn my back on my promise to her, I’m also turning my back on who I am. My identity.”
I had to take a few breaths before I could speak. “So where does that leave us?”
“That’s the one question I can’t answer.” He finally let go of my chin. “I’m sorry, Dom. I’m so fucking sorry. But I need time.”
The basket caught my eye. “Guess it’s a good thing you’ve got a deadline.”
He rubbed his hands over his face in exhaustion. “Guess it is.”
“I’m going to leave,” I said, coming to my own decision.
Ryan’s head whipped up. “Just like that? You’re fuckingleaving?”
“Shh.” I cupped his face, briefly kissing away his anger. “No, Shadow. I’m notleaving, leaving. I’m never doing that again.”
His shoulders sagged in relief. “Okay.”
“But I’m also not going to watch you marry her.” My voice shook. “I can’t, Shadow. It’ll destroy me in ways I’d never recover from.”
The little colour he’d regained during our fight faded again. “I wouldn’t want you to do that.”
“Be happy, Shadow.” I fought back a sob as I kissed his temple. “Just know that I’ll always be waiting for you. Whether it’s tomorrow, or in fifteen years’ time. I’ll be ready to pick up right where we’re leaving off.”
I pulled back to see tears rolling down his face. “You’reinsane, Dom. You can’t promise me that. You can’t put your heart on hold for me.”
Shrugging, I forced myself to take a step away. Then another. A third. “You’re worth it, Shadow. Besides, I don’t have a heart to give away anymore. It always has, and always will, belong to you.”
He took a jerky step forward, but I was already moving. I had to. If I let Ry touch me now, I’d throw him over my shoulder and screw the consequences.
But I needed him to choose me. Even if it wasn’t today, I needed to know he came to me of his own accord.
This time, I was the one walking away. But like I’d said to Ryan, I had no intention of leaving.
I was here to be part of his life.
