“That, and better yet, in possession of you. A true victory would have been to kill me and seize you.”
Thyra is quiet for a moment. “Lilis fought them off. She killed all of them. Six against one.”
“Never underestimate her, Thyra. She doesn’t suffer anyone foolish enough to come after her.”
“But she fears you.”
Thyra’s quiet statement is far too astute.
“Yes.” I consider how much I should tell Thyra and settle on what is most important right now. “Lilis doesn’t stand at my side willingly. She would kill me if she could.”
Again, Thyra is quiet, staring forward. “Will you tell me why?”
“Many reasons.” I exhale softly. “But most dominantly, she fears I’ll send her back to her former life.”
“Which was?”
It’s public knowledge in Frost, so I’m not sure why I hesitate. Maybe because Lilis has gone to great lengths to put that part of her life behind her, and Thyra is one of the few fae who doesn’t know about it.
I remind myself that strategy must stand above all else. Thyra’s compassion can’t touch my reasoning. Right now, Lilis’s past is relevant to the threats Thyra will face.
“She was a courtesan for the Silversten family,” I say. “Her former master is the head of that family. His name is Iker Silversten.”
I pronounce his first name carefully.Ee-kuh.
“Iker,” she murmurs. “That was the name of the Frost General who served the Serulian King, wasn’t it?”
“Before the False Queen cast her curse,” I reply. “Like me, Iker is directly descended from that line. His ancestor was the Frost General’ssecondson. If it weren’t for that, Iker would be on the throne, not me.”
“Is he the only other one with any claim? There must have been other brothers and sisters over time.”
My jaw clenches. “There were.”
She stiffens. “Were?”
“My grandfather killed his siblings. So did my father. Iker’s ancestors did the same. Iker was an only child. His mother…” I sigh. “Apparently, she refused to be part of a situation where she would one day watch her children kill each other, so after Iker was born, she left her husband to his courtesans. Iker, on the other hand, has seven children, all nearly grown. Once the youngest turns twenty, they face death at each other’s hands until only one remains.
“The only question ishowthey will fight. Perhaps in a field of bloodied snow. Or maybe they will pick each other off through a series of concealed attacks. The choice is Iker’s.”
“But that’s…” The horror in Thyra’s voice would shake me if I could feel that emotion.
She tugs away from me. “You had a family, too.”
I catch my breath. She must want to know if I killed them to ascend to the throne.
I told her I wanted my family back. I wasn’t lying.
“There are some things I won’t speak of, Thyra,” I say, my arms so tightly clamped around her that I’m certain they must feel like chains.
Some things Ican’tspeak of, even though I’m certain she’ll hear about themeventually.
“But I will tell you this,” I continue, “and I need you to know how deeply true it is: I loved my mother and my sister more than I loved my own life?—”
My voice strangles before I can continue and I fucking hate it.
Closing my eyes, I repeat my mantra within my mind.
No more.
