I turned around and took the journal from 1996, and opened the entry from December when they left the island. And here it was.We left the Nevermere yesterday, crossing into Ashbourne…That's it. That might be my connection.
My fingers flew over the keyboard as I opened another tab and typed in Ashbourne, my heart thundering in my chest.
"Are you even listening to me?" Ingrid's voice came from the phone.
"I think I've found something," I replied, waiting as the page loaded. "Holy shit," I yelled as page after page popped up, talking about Ashbourne. "Holy fucking shit, Ingrid."
"What? Bitch, you better tell me."
"I think I've found it."
"The island?"
"No." I shook my head as if she could see me, feeling the smile spreading over my face. "I found the town my mom mentioned in one of her journal entries. The town they crossed into when they left the island. Holy fucking shit, this could be my first step. This town could be an answer."
"Uh, Kaira," she interrupted. "Maybe it's nothing. Maybe it was just a random town your parents came to."
"Maybe," I agreed. "But maybe someone from the town would know about the island. Maybe this was the clue."
"Kaira—"
"No, I know it sounds insane and I can hear the worry in your voice, but I have to go there. I have to see if the island truly exists or not. Maybe it does have a different name and people from this town might be able to help me." I took a deep breath before continuing. "I have to do this, Ingrid. I have to find out the truth."
"And what if the truth is more painful than the lie?"
"Then I guess I would need to deal with it once I am face to face with it. I can't spend the rest of my life thinking about this, and I know myself. You know me as well. I wouldn't be able to sit still until I find out the reason for her leaving. Until I find out why she left my biological father and why she had to run away. What was it that she was so afraid of?"
"I know, but that's what worries me. You're getting obsessed with this. I love that you have something to focus on, but is this the right way?"
Perhaps it wasn't. Perhaps this was batshit crazy and it would bring me nothing but more heartache, but something had to change and if this was going to help me to get up without feeling like I regretted being alive, then so be it.
"This is the only way I know, Ingrid. This is the only way."
And as I said goodbye to her, after promising I would keep checking in daily, I turned back to the internet browser and found the location of Ashbourne.
I guess Nevermere Island wouldn't be my first stop. The town of Ashbourne is.
4
KAIRA
Running usedto be my way of letting out some steam and getting to breathe easier.
I didn't go for a run for almost a year, allowing myself to suffocate under the weight of the darkness that had entered my life. But I went for a run last night. After I found out the truth about my family, or, well, at least some part of the truth, I had an urge to go for a run again. Not to forget anything, but to actually start getting my normal again.
Whatever that normal was.
It's been three days since I read my mom's journals, and like a woman possessed, I've spent hours finding out more about Ashbourne and the best way to go there.
I also might have sent myself into a panic attack at some point, because what would happen if I didn't find anything? What would I do if my biological father ended up being some abusive asshole and my mom wasn't able to write it all down from the fear that he would read it?
And that's why I ran last night instead of combing through the same forums giving me all the same information like the previous ones I've found about the island. That's why I forcedmyself to pull on my leggings, an old T-shirt I had, a hoodie, and sneakers, then I ran around the neighborhood at ten at night.
I was pretty sure the neighbors thought I had finally lost it, but I felt as if I found something. I found my purpose, and I was slowly finding my way to who I was before the accident happened.
Running also made me remember my mom and dad, sitting at every track meet, cheering for me, telling me I could do everything I ever set my mind to. Remembering that had also helped me to finally bite the bullet and book a flight to Portland and hire a rental car to drive to Ashbourne.
Ingrid kept texting me since this morning, asking for updates, but the only update I could give her as I drove from Portland to what everyone described asa sleepy little town built on the shores of Washington State, where the fog never leaves, was that the closer I got the more certain I was this was the right thing to do. There were barely any signs as I exited from the highway and onto the old road, but the smell of the sea in the air even with my windows closed told me I was on the right path.
