“Noooo!” her mom screamed, while her dad rushed into the room, toward us. Andy grabbed his mom before she could collapse to the floor, while I gripped Sophie’s body in my arms.
“I couldn’t save her, Mr. Anderson,” I told her dad, gripping the back of her pajama shirt. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Tears fell, his face reddening with each passing second. He came to us and sat down on the bed, right next to my hip.
“It’s okay, Noah. It’s okay, son.”
I started shaking my head. “No. I need her to wake up. Please tell her to wake up.”
“It’s okay. Come on, Noah. You can let go now. You can let go of her.”
“No, no, please. Please don’t take her away from me. Please don’t.”
Slowly, carefully, crying at the same time, he placed his hands on mine and looked me in the eye. “She’s gone, Noah. Let her go. We all need to let her go.”
“I can’t.” I buried my face into her hair. She still smelled like my Sophie.
She still felt like sunshine and rainbows and first drops of snow during the winter. “I can’t let her go.”
“We need to move her, Noah. Help me move her, okay?”
How could he be so calm about this? How was he not breaking down like I was?
But when I looked into his eyes, I could see that he was holding on by a thread. I could see what devastation looked like, and I was sure it looked fairly similar on my face.
With seconds ticking and his hands on mine, I untangled myself from her. I placed one hand on the back of her head and pulled her face toward mine for one last goodbye. One last kiss.
One last time.
“Wait for me, okay? Just wait for me somewhere there.” I pressed my lips on her forehead, loathing the icy feeling of her skin.
Her mom sobbed, filling the silence around us, but I didn’t dare to look at her. I knew if I did I would break apart again.
With shallow breaths and an empty soul, with her dad’s help, I lowered her down on the bed. If I didn’t know any better, she looked just as if she was sleeping.
My sleeping beauty.
My almost forever.
23
NOAH
Dark clouds colored the sky,letting the rain fall on us. Hundreds of black umbrellas surrounded me; hundreds of people. My mom held my hand while her entire body shook from the force of her sorrow, yet I felt alone.
Completely and utterly alone.
Even the sky cried for Sophie. Even nature knew what it lost, not only me.
I trained my gaze on the white casket ready to be lowered down into the ground, but my mind wasn’t here. White roses stood proudly on top of it, and I wanted to tear them all off. They didn’t belong there. None of these people belonged here.
That girl across from me that couldn’t stop crying didn’t even know Sophie. That guy in the second row kept blinking and fighting tears, yet he was the one that bullied her over the summer when we were in elementary school, until she confronted him.
He never did it again.
But all of them cried. All of them mourned the young life we lost, yet none of them knew her. None of them knew what made her smile and what made her cry. None of them knew that Sophie feared she wouldn’t get to accomplish everything before she died one day. They were all standing there, surrounded by sorrow and misery, and most of them ignored her throughout her short life.
I turned my head to the left and looked at Bianca.
