I tucked my lips, debating on what I should do. The woman I saw in the mirror looked nothing like the bright-eyed girl who left home for the prestigious New York of Arts at eighteen years old. I remembered being so ready to detach myself from my father and CCB that I never looked back. I shook my head, knowing the only thing I had to show for it was my soon-to-be black eye.
The truth was I couldn’t take any more of this shit. Emir intentionally did this to keep me in the house because he knew I always did what was required to protect his image. Before tonight, I would’ve never allowed a soul to know about the abuse, but a year was too long to be isolated from my family. At least we used to talk before, even if it was a quick check-in, but now it was radio silence, just how Emir wanted it. Tonight, I wasn’t a victim. I was reclaiming my freedom. If Emir wanted to keep me locked in this house, he’d have to personally be here to do so.
My decision to still go to the bachelorette party was made within seconds. I rushed to redo my hair, having to leave some down for a bang to cover my eye as best as possible. I pushed through the discomfort I felt from my bruised ribs as I slid into the black-and-white polka dot A-line dress to match her tea party theme. I knew defying Emir was a risk, but it was one I was willing to take.
My stomach twisted and turned in knots when I was finished getting ready. Physically, I was still a very beautiful woman, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually? I felt like a gutter rat, and it took all the strength I had to grab the gift I had for Angel and head out of the house Emir very explicitly told me to stay in tonight. Whatever came next would be what it was going to be. I was going to see my sisters.
The only sound that could be heard was my heels clinking against the pavement leading up to the brownstone home address that was on my invitation. I had the perfectly wrapped giftbox of cutlery tucked underneath my arm as I closed the distance to the front door. I was so nervous that my palms were sweating profusely. Despite that, I lifted my pointer finger and jammed it into the doorbell.
I twisted in place on baited breaths, waiting for someone to come to the door. Seconds later, it was snatched open, and my big sister, Hileevee, stood there with a gaped mouth in surprise. “Harlo,” she whispered before crashing into me. I chuckled, nearly dropping the gift as I returned her embrace with myfree arm. Being able to embrace my sister silenced my internal turmoil just a little.
When Lee released me and took a step back, my worries were eased a little more because Angel appeared behind her. “Harlo!” she screamed excitedly, bumping Lee out of the way to get to me. I chuckled, embracing her too. “I told you she was going to come,” she directed at Lee before burying her face in the crook of my neck.
Hearing about her faith in me nearly choked me up. If I had anything to do with it, she would never know how close I was to not coming tonight. Pulling back to palm her face, I assured her, “I was not missing this for anything in the world. Thank you for inviting me, even though I’ve been a little distant.”
She smiled widely with tears in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. You’re here now,” Lee said, stepping forward to toss an arm over Angel’s shoulder. I looked back and forth between my sisters feeling so much gratitude that I was seconds away from exploding with joy. That was until Lee frowned as her head jerked back. “Harlo, what’s wrong with your eye?”
She tried to reach for me, but I stepped back just in time for her not to be able to get a closer view. I waved her off, allowing my head to fall and my bang to return to its perfectly curated position in front of my bruised eye. I was sure it looked even worse now than when I left the house, but I was feigning ignorance to it all. Nothing was wrong. Literally everything was right in my world as far as I was concerned.
“It’s nothing, I promise.” I tried to assure my sister, but it fell on deaf ears.
Once again, she reached for my face, and this time she wouldn’t allow me to create any space. Her hand on my cheek was gentle. She pushed the bang back, and I felt the air shift when they saw the damage Emir had done to me. “Did Emir do this?”
I wanted to deny and pretend like my face was perfectly fine, but the tears racing to my lash lines betrayed me. I released a shaky breath. “Yes, but only because he didn’t want me to come tonight.” That was my attempt at making it seem like this wasn’t an ongoing issue, when it in fact was that and so much more.
Lee scoffed. “Are you defending him right now?”
I shook my head adamantly. “No, no. I’m just saying let’s not make tonight about what he did to keep me away and focus on baby girl getting married.”
I made the mistake of looking at Angel, only to see pure sadness in her eyes. “Harlo, . . . is this why you’ve been distant? Because he’s abusing you?”
I ran a hand down my face because I was only making things worse. “Can we please not do this? That’s not why I came.”
Lee reached for my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “As your big sister, I cannot in my right mind sweep this under the rug. I’m calling Daddy,” she declared. And this was why I didn’t want to get my sisters involved. I knew their first instinct would be to call the big bad wolf.
“No, no. Please, don’t call him, Lee,” I pleaded shamelessly. “Angel, tell her it’s not a big deal. I came to celebrate you.”
My baby sister looked heartbroken as she watched me try to keep the focus on her. She turned to Lee. “Call him. I can’t fathom celebrating anything knowing you are in literal pain. I see you wincing every time you move. What else has he done to you, Lo?”
The tears I tried my hardest to hold in refused to stay hidden any longer. I was outvoted on what to do next, and whether I liked it or not, my father was going to be called. God himself would have to come down here to keep my father from raising hell on Emir Akeem and his entire bloodline. Things could get that grimy when he was involved. I’d witnessed it with my owneyes and vowed to never associate with him or his lifestyle ever again because of it.
“Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars,” Keem informed us, adding dramatic flair that he was known for. I watched him rub his hands together as if this was going to be easy money. By the multiple hoots in the room, I was the only one who knew he was forgetting the most important detail of it all.
I huffed out a breath and shook my head, thinking about what it would take for us to win that pot of money. “Calm your happy ass down. You’re forgetting we don’t have a female to enter the race.” My voice was stern and even as it cut through the excitement like a sharp blade.
The rules for the race were very specific because them FBA niggas who started the pot knew for a fact we didn’t have someone to put up against them. In any other race, we weresmoking them niggas and collecting their bread on a weekly basis like clockwork. A strictly female race was the only way for them to have one up on us because, otherwise, we were undefeated in the street racing scene.
I wasn’t the kind of leader to sacrifice my people for the hell of it. When it came to the Carolina Cutthroat Boyz, I vetted everyone personally to the point where I knew their strengths and weaknesses on and off the bike. All members were cutthroat in the area I needed them to be, which was why our family ran like a well-oiled machine. Among the few members we had, there was no one I’d choose to race on our behalf with full confidence.
The room fell into an eerie silence as the truth settled in. “I mean, for two hundred thousand, I’ll do it, big bro,” Laprada, my sister and sergeant in arms, said from where she was leaning against the wall. My sister was a damn good rider, but even I knew she couldn’t handle La Muerte. It didn’t get that name for nothing; that curve was deadly. Had already claimed the lives of hundreds of riders. I wasn’t that thirsty for the bread to offer up my sister like that.
“No disrespect to your skills, sis, but your lack of control is a risk.” For emphasis, I paused and added, “And I’m not just talking about riding.”
Every member of the leadership board in the room knew exactly what I meant. Prada was not to be fucked with on any day of the week, if you wanted to live to talk about it. I’d seen her bring more men to their knees in tears than a little, which was why she was the only person I trusted to be the enforcer for CCB. She ran a tight ship but lacked the discipline and control needed to successfully win that race.
She huffed with a shrug. “True.” One of our members, Teddy, chuckled from where he sat. Prada leaned off the wall with afrown. “Something funny, nigga?” she asked with the same ice I usually spoke with.
“N-nah.” He stuttered like a pussy.
