“You on birth control?” he asks.
“I have an IUD.”
Which is true. I’ve had an IUD device since my first period, thanks to Mom. Mostly in case of rape. Mom always said trauma can be hidden. A baby can’t.
“K,” he murmurs, then looks down as he spreads my lips and presses his tip against my entrance.
The sensation is blunt and intrusive, causing my heart to stutter and face to burn hot.
“Oh my gosh,” I say under my breath. I drop my head back on the pillow. I can’t look.
Pressure.
His tip presses harder.
I fill my lungs and freeze, every muscle tense.
This is it. The moment that has dominated so much of my life.
The pressure builds. My heart nearly erupts from my chest.
Suddenly—
I sit up and hook my hands behind Jack’s neck, startling him. I pull as hard as I can, leading his massive frame over my body.
The weight of him, the reality of what comes next, is terrifying. I don’t want this moment to turn into something I survive.
I have a death-grip on his head so his face is almost touching mine. My lips meet his and I whisper into his mouth.
“I don’t know if I can do this. I’m... I’m afraid.”
He pauses for a moment before giving a small nod. Then he rests our temples side by side and murmurs against my ear.
“It’s okay. I got you, baby.” His lips drag to my cheek, delivering a tender kiss. “Whatever you want.”
I close my eyes and revel in the heat of his body. This intimacy I crave. The fact he’ll stop despite being so close to conquering me.
Him. He’s everything I need at this moment.
My body eases, and I whisper, “Okay. I’m ready.”
His eyes lock with mine, and then carefully, his hips tilt in.
This time, my body surrenders to this man. The pain is like a knife stab, sharp and fast. Just a moment, but a moment that cannot be undone.
He knows the second I tear. He feels it. He pauses, jaw clenching tight and a sense of concern swirling in his piercing blue eyes.
His voice is low, compassionate.
“Not so bad, huh? You did it. You alright?”
I nod fast.
Deep down, I thought he’d be smug. Happy. Maybe even victorious he got something no one else had.
Yet, his reaction is none of those things. He was concerned.
His gaze stays on me as he moves again. My body pulses and stretches as he fills me inch by inch. When he bottoms out, a feeling of closeness swells in my heart that I didn’t expect.
