That one word guts me.
I grind my molars to powder.
A regret.
Me.
Exactly what I figured she’d think, but hearing it from her lips guts me in a way I didn’t anticipate.
“If you are not coming in, that’s fine.” She spins and walks to the pool. Her bathing suit rides up her plump butt cheeks. Water beads on her skin, and every step makes her body glitter like a halo in the sunlight. Before she jumps in the water, she calls back, “But I amnotunblocking you.”
A splash.
She surfaces and swims away, ignoring me. I don’t understand the game she’s playing, but I feel sideswiped, questioning every interaction I’ve had with her. I misread her. It’s not often I am around girls like Morgan. It makes sense her motives are more innocent than I assumed.
Although I am confused and disoriented, I push forward — cautiously.
My shoes and socks come off, then I roll up my pant legs and sit on the edge, knees apart with my feet in the water. Coolness laps at my shins.
She swims to me and stands in the shallow water, which rises up to her waist. Her hair is slicked back and her wet eyelashes clump. She holds her elbows, naturally pushing her breasts together, as if posing.
Before, I’d say she’s gotta be fucking with me. Now, who knows.
I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath to focus.
Noel.
Yet, the wrong words spill from my lips.
“Morgan, I need you to keep texting me.”
“Why?” she says.
“I don’t know. It starts and ends my day right. A routine. I like it.”
She shrugs. “Text as friends?”
“Yes. Exactly.”
She grabs a bag poolside and pulls out sunscreen, a towel, then a box. With a playful grin, she hands the box to me. “Since we’re friends.”
I furrow my brow and freeze.
It’s a new phone.
“Yours is broken,” she adds.
“You bought me a phone?”
“Mm-hm.” She lifts her chin, proud.
“This is like, over a thousand dollars.”
“Do you like it?” She steps closer, her body between my knees. Her fingertip presses to the top of the box. “The camera is supposed to be really good. You can text me more pictures.”
I flick my eyes to hers, conflicted. Torn. I want us texting, but this phone is too much.
“I can’t accept this.” I set the phone by her bag. “It’s too expensive.”
