Ingrid sneaks me a knowing look and whispers, “You cannot be with Jack.”
That simple statement feels like a knife slicing into my gut. It pains me in a way I didn’t expect. It isn’t like I envisioned us being in a relationship. I was going with what felt right. That’s the surprising part.
“I know,” I agree, talking softly for only her ears. “It sucks because Jack’s the one guy I got that far with and it didn’t feel wrong. There was zero guilt. I don’t know why.”
“I don’t, either. He would’ve stopped it if he cared about your salvation. Come on, babes. You told him you were a virgin and he didn’t flinch.”
My cheeks flush and I grin as butterflies burst in my chest.
“I liked that,” I whisper. “I liked that he wanted to be the one to take it. He didn’t treat it like life and death.”
This time, she rolls her eyes but there is no smile.
“Because he wanted to screw a tight you-know-what. He’s a guy without God. Stop romanticizing it.”
I pout. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Glumly, I check my phone for the hundredth time today, praying for a text from Jack. Each time I turn on the screen, my heart skips a beat in anticipation. Then it immediately sinks because his name never appears.
He probably already slept with another girl. I know he isn’t a virgin. He was too comfortable. He was such a good kisser. He knew where to touch me. His dirty words aroused and led me down the path of temptation.
He knew what he was doing.
Then the moment was cut short so cruelly. It felt like God intervened at just the right moment. As if he were saying, “You failed the test, and I have to save you from evil.”
I let down God. Everyone.
Although I didn’t feel the self-loathing that usually accompanies any sexual encounter, the abrupt end to my moment with Jack was the sign I needed. I was doing wrong.
I groan and slide my phone into my purse.
Bailey nods approvingly, probably thinking we’re talking about Gabe. “One day, you will be a big star with an even bigger reach. A global reach with multiple megachurches. God has blessed you. This is the time to prove youare worthy of his gifts.”
I’ve heard her words a thousand times from many people. It always adds weight onto my shoulders. They’re right. I can’t mess this up. But it doesn’t make carrying these expectations any easier.
Forget about Jack. Forget him.
He’s over.
Ingrid loads paper and begins printing worksheets for tomorrow’s bible study. I give her a hug and thank her for the advice. Then I wave to Bailey and walk out to my car.
The sunset paints the sky gold and a flock of birds soar overhead. I click my key FOB and my car chirps. Among other vehicles, one catches my eye.
An old sedan.
My body stills and I gasp. I look around for Jack but don’t see him.
A voice behind me sends a shiver down my spine.
“Morgan, can we talk?”
I turn.
Noel.
“Oh... hey, hon,” I manage.
I might not be as compromised as I was when I last saw him, but I tug on my clothes nonetheless. My heart rages in my chest.
