“Aww,” I say, truly flattered.
His tone dips. “Did you have fun with Gabe? Heard you had a date last night.”
I suck in a sharp breath. “Did Gabe tell you that?”
“Yes. Your mother and I always knew you two would be a fine pair. He’s a nice boy.”
“He is,” I mumble.
But I don’t want a boy. I want a man. Not that Gabe is lacking, but I feel like I am.
What we did went further than it should have, and still, nothing inside me bloomed the way the sermons promised it would.
I keep wondering if something is wrong with me. If love is supposed to be loud and overwhelming, or if I’m simply unable to feel it.
Maybe we need to slow down. Start with a date. Physical acts must wait until marriage.
Subtly, I wince because that plan doesn’t bring peace.
I kiss Daddy on the cheek and head for the door. Before leaving, I turn and ask, “What is Down syndrome?”
Daddy cocks his head, his expression curious. “Something with chromosomes. You’ve seen them. They have squinty eyes and, to put it politely, are slow.”
“Oh,” I murmur, though that didn’t sound polite. Jesus would say it nicer.
“Why do you ask?”
“I was invited to a Bible study for people with Down syndrome. I guess my followers are really into it.”
He nods knowingly. “I see. Is it that place run by the Killborne boys? Special Hearts?”
“Yes, I believe it is.”
He narrows his eyes. “Stay away from the eldest one.”
His voice lowers.
“Jack. He has an attitude unbecoming of a lady like you.”
Something in my chest tightens, the way it does when a massive storm looms in the distance.
“Um, okay. I’ll avoid him,” I reply.
I don’t intend to make the visit long, anyway. Just enough to let my followers swoon over those special people. It’s a little selfish, but I hope it’ll help wash away the sin from my naughty-night with Gabe.
I hold myself as guilt eats at me. One minute, I’m fine. The next, I’m mortified I let it go that far.
“Morgan! Great service tonight,” says a happy voice.
Ingrid, my best friend and social media manager, opens the door to the parking lot. Night air rushes in, humid, heavy, and buzzing with cicadas and distant traffic.
“Gabe was looking for you earlier. Wonder why?” she adds teasingly, since I already told her what happened. She’s the only person I can trust with such a dark secret.
I groan loudly. “He’s acting like we’re engaged now.”
She giggles in that bubbly way she does. She’s all shine and movement. Blonde hair curled tight. Glossed lips. Phone already in her hand like an extension of her body. She believes good lighting can fix almost anything.
As is often the case, her voice rises when she’s excited.
