Chapter 43
Jack
Islept with Morgan. In the bed, the shower, the back of a truck.
What the fuck.
The temptress I swore off transformed back into the precious thing I don’t want to live without.
Christ, I took her on a date like an obsessed idiot. Held her hand like if I let go, she’d be gone. Even hugged her every chance I got, because she smelled good, she fit there, and she was mine.
I groan loudly and drag my palms down my face, agonized.
After all, I fucking told her I loved her.
I must be a masochist. Guess I want to bring myself endless pain and suffering. This can’t work out. The second I shut that truck door, I knew the dream was over. She’ll get dragged right back into that church.
It’s not her fault. I love her for it. She wants to do what’s virtuous in her eyes. That life is what she believes is right.
Can’t change beliefs.
Once again, I have to coach myself:
“Just be grateful for the time you got with Morgan.”
It doesn’t help much.
Work is over, night has stolen light, and I sit on the couch, checking my phone every five minutes even though it doesn’t chirp with a new message.
“Come on, Morgan,” I beg into the nothingness. “Bring me good news.”
But the phone stays quiet.
I light a blunt and lean back into the couch, trying to get my nerves to calm down.
The front door lock turns and Noel bursts into the house. When he sees the red embers burn as I inhale, he practically runs to my side.
“Give me a puff.”
I side-eye him. He just turned eighteen. He knows I smoke once in a while. It’s just weird to condone it to my younger brother.
“Please. You’re not my guardian, anymore. I’m an adult.”
True.
“And I smoke with Liam.”
I muse for a moment. He is a man now. If he can go to war and die, he can smoke a joint.
It isn’t easy, but I sigh and pass him the blunt.
Sure as shit, Noel takes a deep drag and hardly coughs. This isn’t new to him. He goes for a second, but I snatch it back.
“Guess you have lit up, but we need to talk first before you get too fucked up.”
“‘Bout what?”
I take in a sharp breath and answer, “Morgan.”
