“What is this?”
“What do you mean?”
He moved forward.
Startled, I stumbled over my skirts as I attempted to move back.
He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me against him. The wind swirled and whistled around us as we stood dangerously close to the edge of the cliff. “Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
He tightened his grasp as he growled, “Testing me.”
I searched his face as the words scratched and clawed at my throat. I tried to break free, but he wouldn’t allow it.
“Tell me,” he ordered.
Finally, unable to take it any longer, I blurted. “I don’t want to love you!”
His eyebrows rose. “What?”
Saltwater spray stung my cheeks as I cried out, “I don’t want to love you! I don’t want to forgive you. I don’t want to forget what you’ve done. I hate that I’ve started seeing you as a human being and not a monster.”
“Madison—”
I balled up my fists and beat them against his chest. “No. Don’t Madison me. I don’t want glimpses of your capacity for kindness. I don’t want your tenderness. I don’t want the hope that you…that you?—”
I couldn’t finish. With a sob, I rested my forehead against his chest.
He gently cupped the back of my head and held me close.
We stood there for several minutes. Me enfolded within the confines of his jacket and held tightly within his embrace.
He remained silent.
Turning my head, I stared up at him. “Have you nothing to say?”
He looked down at me for another moment before caressing my cheek. “I love you.”
“Is that all you have to say?”
After a long silence, he looked out over the sea before returning his sharp gaze to me. “I have spent my entire life taking what I wanted and feeling nothing. I have burned things down and walked away from the flames without looking back. I have never once asked for anything I could not simply reach out and take."
He released me and stepped back.
The wind filled the space between us.
His throat contracted. “I am asking now."
I stared at him. The rising dawn light carved his face into something unfamiliar. Not gentle. Not soft. But open in a way that was almost violent in its raw intensity.
He continued. “I don't know how to be what you need. I know what I am. I know what I've done. I am not asking you to forgive it. I am not asking you to forget it. I am asking you to stay anyway."
I could only just stare up at him. At a loss for words.
He closed the distance between us and cupped my face, his palms warm against my chilled cheeks. “You said you don't want to love me. Too late, Madison. For both of us."
I laid my hand over his. “And if I need more time?”
