Sadie looked past his shoulder, not sure she could stand to see regret in his eyes as well as hearing it in his thoughts. Around them, a shimmering blue barrier winked out of existence. He’d warded them while they kissed and now dropped it as he moved further from her.
Nicholas’s voice was gruff when he managed to speak. “I apologize, I shouldn’t have—”
Sadie’s gaze snapped back to him. Did he think she hadn’t been willing, was that why he stopped? “You don’t need to apologize. It was a joint endeavor.”
“One that shouldn’t have happened.”
“Why not? We both enjoyed it.” Sadie couldn’t believe she had asked the question. Except she didn’t have to hold back withNicholas. She hid her magic, but she didn’t have to hide herself from him. And she wanted the answer to that question.
“That doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything. I still have no intention of marrying, Sadie.”
She blinked. “I never expected you to change your mind about that.” She knew better than to believe herself in one of Pippa’s favorite love stories. Sadie would not marry someone while keeping a secret as large as her magic. And since she fully planned on never telling anyone about her power ever again, she had accepted that she’d never marry. But this month? It was an oasis in the desert of loneliness she lived in. A temporary respite, a chance to indulge without having to worry how it would impact her normal life.
Surely she could enjoy herself that much without her power ruining everything?
He scoffed. “I’m supposed to believe you won’t try to leverage this”—he pointed between them —“into a proposal?”
She rolled her eyes. “Why would I want to spend my life with someone I have to trick into marriage?”
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m not so vain that I assume it is about me. But the ring does come with a few other perks, like a title and access to my estate.”
Sadie took a step back. “You really think I am so mercenary?”
“I don’t know what to think! You are keeping too many secrets. Most of what comes out of your mouth is a lie. Why should I believe this one thing when I know I can’t trust anything else?”
“Right.” Sadie had been deluding herself. Of course he didn’t trust her. Why would he? “Then I suppose I agree. This was a mistake. You should go back to the house. Abigail is probably waiting for you.”
???
Shit.
Nicholas realized too late that the real mistake was lashing out at Sadie in panic.
Kissing her had called into question all he thought he knew about himself. Instead of facing the realization that he might actually want a woman to stick around, he doubled down. And hurt Sadie in the process.
Now, he didn’t even know how to start an apology. Especially since he couldn’t honestly say that her lies didn’t matter. He held out his arm. “I’ll escort you back to the manor.”
She shook her head. “No need. I’ll stay out here.”
Nicholas thought of the report about all the accidents happening in the forest lately. He didn’t truly believe it was haunted, and Sadie had the charm—if she didn’t dig it out and throw it into the spring the moment he left—yet he felt uneasy leaving her alone in the woods. He knew better than to say it wasn’t safe for her, though.
He lowered his arm. “Mother will kill me if she learns I left you alone in the forest after what happened yesterday.”
“I’m not your responsibility” was her chilly answer.
“No, but you are my guest. Please, Sadie.”
She started walking, but it was in the direction of the house, so he fell in step next to her without comment. Shortly after the path turned away from the spring, she spoke up again. “You need to make up your mind, Nicholas.”
“About what?” he asked, but he knew. It wasn’t fair to Sadie to give her a protection charm and kiss her one moment, and to treat her as an imposition from his mother the next.
She didn’t deign to explain, aware that he understood exactly what she meant. They exited the forest and Sadie walked a littlefaster, angling herself just enough to look back at him. “Let me know when you’ve decided.”
He didn’t try to catch up as she entered the manor through the door near the brewing room. He continued through the gardens to the back of the manor and the door near his mother’s favorite sitting room. His attempts to make sense of his own jumbled thoughts were cut off before he reached the door.
“There you are.” Abigail’s saccharine voice didn’t fully hide her annoyance. “I was afraid you had forgotten about me.”
“I apologize. Sadie and I walked farther from the house than we should have, and didn’t turn around early enough.”
