I closed my eyes. “Last night,” I whispered. “I didn’t tell him until last night.”
When I opened my eyes, Gemma was staring at me, her lips rounded in surprise. Cole’s frown had deepened.
“I know,” I told him, though he said nothing. “I made a mistake. At first, I wanted to discover what he thought of me, without my title getting in the way. Then I was too scared, always waiting for the perfect opportunity that would never come. Considering whatPowell did, I’d understand if Alan can’t forgive me for using a charm on him.”
Gemma reached out and touched my arm. “It’s not the same.”
Like Sam, she took my side without hesitation. I was touched, but that wasn’t what I wanted. I met Cole’s eyes. “He needs a friend. Someone who will curse my name with him, if that is how he feels. Someone who can convince him that if he is ever done cursing my name, he is welcome at the palace any time.”
Twenty-Six
Alan
???
Skorsa would endup swimming in nails. They were the only thing I could make without ruining in my present mood. Perhaps I should have just made nothing. After all, there were no orders coming in while everyone adjusted to Powell’s disappearance.
But while I had once spent hundreds of words and countless hours complaining about my father setting me the task of making nails, doing nothing was worse. I wasn’t sure if I counted each swing of my hammer in an effort to avoid thinking or because eventually the monotony let me think clearly. But though my thoughts had cleared somewhat after a full day in the forge, they still circled around in an endless loop.
Mina had lied to me. Used magic on me. She was the Crown Princess of Nemya. She hadn’t trusted me. If I hadn’t cut her off, she might have said she had fallen in love with me.
When I started making nails the second morning in a row, my thoughts twisted into questions. Why hadn’t she told me the truth sooner? How well did I really know her?
A prickling on the back of the neck made me pause mid-swing. I spun around.
She stood framed in the open doors, her hands white-knuckled where they gripped her skirts, her eyes bright.
I turned back to my iron, my blows more forceful than minutes earlier. But the metal cooled, and I needed to return it to the forge. As I did so, I saw Mina in the exact same place from the corner of my eye. I knew, with an understanding of her that I didn’t want to admit I had, that she would wait there all day.
I dropped my tongs on the bench and crossed my arms. “Here to apologize? It doesn’t change what you did.”
She nodded, not the least bit taken aback by my tone. “I know. But that doesn’t negate the fact that I owe you an apology. I’m sorry Alan. I never should have used a charm on you.”
It wasn’t that she had used the charm; I could accept that it had nothing to do with me. But she had hidden the magic from me at every step. That was what tore me apart. She had known what I was going through with Powell. She had known that I was falling for her, even if I hadn’t said the words. There had been so many opportunities, but she had continued lying to me until I forced her hand.
“Now that you’ve taken care of that, you should be on your way. I hardly think a forge is the proper place for a princess to spend her day.”
Her lips trembled, and she reached into her pocket, drawing out a letter sealed with a disc of blue wax. “I won’t try to explain why I made the choices I did now. I know my words are nothing more than an excuse. But if you ever want to understand, it’s all in here. I truly am sorry, Alan.”
She stepped into the forge just far enough to set the letter on a shelf filled with miscellaneous materials. Then she turned and walked away. I watched her until she disappeared from view, but that was all right, because she didn’t look back. I stared at the letter for long moments, then turned back to the forge.
I had nails to make.
I sank back into the rhythm of the forge. This time, I sought to drown out my thoughts with every stroke of the hammer. I wasn’t ready to deal with Mina’s letter. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready, but I couldn’t bring myself to throw it in the fire either.
An unknown number of nails later, I turned to grab a fresh bar of iron, only to find the shelf blocked.
“No.” Cole told me, his arms crossed over his chest. “You’re done for the night.”
The words were enough to draw my attention to the lengthening shadows outside the forge. I had worked through the entire day without pause.
“Close up the forge, Alan. It is past time for supper. The south field is fallow this season. We can eat while watching the stars come out, just like old times.”
“Fine, but you’d better be providing the food.” I wouldn’t have to face anyone else out in the south field. If I sent Cole on his way, I’d have to go to the tavern to buy a meal. There was nothing left in the house.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered. Now get moving, I’m hungry.”
I went through my end of day routine, a task that took considerably less time than usual when I had only used a single hammer and set of tongs all day. Within minutes, I was ready to lock up. Cole stepped out into the yard, and I reached out to pull the doors closed, but a scrap of white and blue caught my eye.
