This was more than giving in to physical attraction. When she had kissed him, it hadn’t been a prelude to sex, but something softer, sweeter—and had made her want more without feeling that anything was lacking.
She had kissed him with tenderness rather than lust as her motivation.
Reyn breathed in deeply, then exhaled and watched her breath fog before her. She was falling for Velario. Inhaling again, she willed the cold air to bring her clarity. She had thought she was falling in love once before. It had not turned out well.
She exhaled and stepped back into the warmth of the Geratisi’s home. This wasn’t like the last time. She had barely known Pedon. Looking back, she knew that she hadn’t fallen for him so much as the freedom she had experienced the first time she flirted with him. The thrill of stepping out of the shadows, the excitement of doing all she had never dared back home, had entranced her more than the man himself.
Reyn knew Velario. She had seen him at his worst and had enjoyed him at his best. She thought about him when they were apart. Not just his body and how he made her feel when he moved in her—though that occupied much of her concentration. She thought about how he would respond if she whispered her observations of the people around her into his ear. She thought about how she could make him laugh, and what sarcastic comments he might offer to her that would leave her fighting to hide a smile.
She wanted to spend more time with him, in and out of bed. She thought she might even want to wake up in his arms, something she had done with no one before.
If Pedon had had the ability to hurt her, then Velario had the ability to destroy her. If she admitted to him that her act had not been entirely an act and he responded with a cutting remark, it would be devastating. She knew he wouldn’t turn her away if she sought to continue their physical relationship—but if it was only physical on his part, then she should not prolong anything. Better she pull back now with her heart only a little bruised, but not broken.
Reyn would not set herself up for heartbreak. Velario had much to deal with. If he no longer needed her—no longer wanted her at his side—then she would not push herself on him.
If he did still want her, then he’d have to proclaim his intentions, one way or another.
