“I’ve never slept with a random person before. It was a big deal,” I admit.
His jaw drops in mock offense. “Oh, so I’m a random now?”
I chuckle. “You were at the time. My life was a mess and I was surprised at my actions, but I must say I was quite happy I could pick you up to be honest. It was the confidence I needed.”
He laughs out loud. “Glad I could be of service. I was stoked I pulled a sexy cougar.”
I cringe. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to being called a cougar.” It’s almost like I’m defiling the poor man. Like I’m doing something naughty.
“Has your ex tried to call?” he asks, his tone shifting to something more serious.
I let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes. I’m not ready to talk to him yet. I wouldn’t even know what to say. I do want to get my business machinery and other business items back sooner rather than later and have a look at a place to rent. Rent both here and in my town is so high.”
He’s frowning again. “You can stay with me at the clubhouse. You don’t have to worry about paying rent. Just help with cleaning and cooking and any basic chores, and no one is going to ask you for money. Everyone there helps, and everything gets done.”
I smile. “Thanks, I’m enjoying it there. Everyone is nice. I’ve got a bit of savings, but a lot of my money went toward the wedding, so it’ll help me if I stay at the clubhouse until I get myself sorted out.” I peer out the window, wondering if that is a good idea. Should I just look for a place to rent now? I shouldn’t rely on anyone but myself, but it would help me save and get set up for the future, and helping out around the clubhouse will be easy. I was doing all the household chores for Tyler anyway.
Rage pulls into a parking spot outside a clothing store. We meet at the front of the truck, and he takes my hand in his. My face flushes at the public display of affection, but it feels right.
“There are shops all along this strip. You lead the way,” he says.
And I do. The first shop is a sportswear store. The mannequins in the window are dressed in brightly colored leggings and tank tops. We go inside, the bell above the doorjingling. The smell of new fabric greets me. It seems to have the same clothes in every color. We go to the women’s clothing aisle first and I flick through the T-shirts. There are so many to choose from. I grab a few basic shirts, black leggings, and a matching tank top and say, “Let’s go find the changing room.”
Afterward, I drag the poor man along to every clothing store. Not all stores have my size. I’m used to it, but I see some nice clothes in smaller sizes and wish they were made for bigger girls too because they’d look really nice on. I grab everything from pajamas to dresses to casual house clothes.
There’s one shop left—a lingerie store. I tug on Rage’s hand, trying to steer him back the way we came, but his grip is stronger and I end up following him inside. My heart beats faster and my anxiety intensifies. I bow my head, feeling like I don’t belong here because all around are petite mannequins wearing flimsy fabrics. They’re beautiful pieces, but for a woman my size... I’ve always been too self-conscious.
A beautiful woman with immaculate makeup and hair walks over to us. She gives Rage a flirty look, but his eyes are only on me. The woman glances at our joined hands and pauses, looking between us. Her brows pull in as if she’s confused, but she shakes her head and puts on a friendly customer-service smile.
“Hello,” she says in an over-the-top voice. She casts a glance my way. “How can I help you?” But her eyes immediately shift to Rage, and she looks hungry. I suppose I can’t blame her.
I force a smile. Not that I wanted to come here in the first place, but Rage wanted to, and he isn’t interested in wearing anything here. The thought makes me giggle internally. “I’m just looking at the moment. Do you have bigger sizes?”
She nods her head. “Yes, we do. Take a look around, and if there’s anything you’d like to try on, let me know.”
“Thank you.”
Rage frowns and looks deep in thought. I hold his hand a little tighter to get his attention. “What’s wrong?” I ask.
If anything, I should be the one frowning. I look over at the mannequin. How is that little material going to cover me? Where do the woman’s flaps go? The material is so thin. Not all of us have petite kitty cats.
He stares at the floor for a moment before making eye contact. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made you come in here. I was just thinking of myself because you’d look amazing in a set, but yeah... I should be thinking about you, and I feel like crap after seeing you uncomfortable just then.”
My heart clenches. He’s so sweet. I wrap my arms around him and give him a tight hug. He’s stiff at first, but then his body softens. He gives himself a hard time when he’s the nicest and most respectable man I’ve ever met. “Don’t stress about it. Since we’re here, I’ll try it on, but just so you know, it’s not going to look on me the way it did on the others you’ve been with.”
He folds his arms across his vest, his biceps straining against the fabric. “You’ll look better—because you’re the one I actually care about.”
This man is going to break my heart tenfold more than Tyler ever did.
I slowly walk around. There’s a black lacy bra that looks nice. I touch it. The low-cut push-up bra is silky soft. I go through the rack and find my size and then look at the matching panties—a G-string and a bikini bottom option. Now, I’m sorry, but I’m not having dental floss up my butt all day, so the bikini one it is. The edging is the same lace as the bra.
If this gorgeous man is excited to see me in something like this, then hell, I’m going to give it a try. My weight shouldn’t hold me back, and he seemed to love my body the night we slept together. Surely he wouldn’t be spending time with me and likeme if he didn’t find me attractive. I straighten my back; I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and get my confidence back.
“This is for you, Rage,” I tease. I smile as I walk to the sales assistant. She ushers me to the change room and passes me the set through the door.
As I take it, I see her striding straight to Rage, probably to flirt with him, but hey, he’s with me. I need to calm down. We aren’t a couple, but being with him makes me feel so damn good, and as much as I shouldn’t want it and I hardly know him, I want to be with him.
I close the door and get changed. I take a moment to look at myself. My boobs look amazing. The underwear is comfortable and looks classy with the lace. I’m used to wearing just basic and boring underwear and bras because I’ve always felt self-conscious and didn’t want anyone to see so much of my skin. A thrill of excitement races through me at the thought of seeing Rage’s face when I’m in this.
