Maybe I can be happy here. Maybe there’s still a chance.
The rehearsal dinner had been so awkward. I couldn’t focus on the unending stream of guests—Philips’s words were still ringing in my head. What he’d said about Rhodes being genuinely happy for the first time, and about my judgment of him, played over and over in my mind.
Rhodes had been trying to protect me by not telling me about bribing my mother. He had also, absolutely, been trying to protect his investment in our contract and its impact on the board’s decision. Was this wrong? It felt wrong, but I wasn’t sure. Hadn’t I also bribed my mother for the same reason? I wanted her to go away so that our secret would be safe. Same thing with Gigi.
I’d judged Rhodes harshly, to the point where I’d questioned my feelings for him. But who was I to judge? I’d never been a billionaire before—constantly faced with people who wanted totake from me. What had Philips called Rhodes’s behavior? Acoping mechanism.
I had a few of my own.
As soon as things with Rhodes got real and within reach, I looked for a reason to reject my feelings. I pushed him away. I found fault instead of staying open, instead of asking him questions, instead of giving him a chance. This was also a coping mechanism—leave before you are left. Don’t trust so you can’t get swindled. Reject before you are rejected.
I was a textbook case.
Sighing, I stared out at the grounds. I might never belong here, and yet, Iwashere. About to marry the Barrington heir.
Maybe I could try, at least for today, to look at the bright side.
There was a knock on my door. “Rory? It’s Genevieve!”
The wedding planner was already here.
“Today’s the day! Are you ready to get into wedding glam?”
Straightening my shoulders and putting on a brave face, I turned.
“Yes.”
“Oh my goodness.”I stared out at the front of Barrington Manor, gobsmacked by all the cars parked on the lawn.
I turned to Genevieve. “How many guests are here?”
“Four hundred.” She beamed at me. “This is the biggest wedding we’ve ever had in the North Country. It’s going to be on the cover of all the bridal magazines!”
“Oh.” I tried to sound upbeat, but the news did nothing for my nerves.Four hundred people!?
“Don’t worry, honey—you are aglowingbride. You look stunning. Perfection!” She made a Chef’s kiss gesture, and Ivaguely wondered how Chef had held up preparing food for so many guests.
“We’re going to head into the study so that you’ll be hidden from sight until it’s your turn to walk down the aisle. The groomsmen and your bridesmaids will file out first,” she instructed, shuttling me into a small library and closing the door so I was hidden.
“I don’t have any bridesmaids,” I said.
“Rory, you are so funny! Don’t let your nerves get the better of you. You don’t know how many guests there are, you forgot about your bridesmaids?—”
“Because I don’thaveany?—”
“Of course you do, silly.” Genevieve lifted her headset and scrolled her tablet until she found what she was looking for. “It’s right here. You have two bridesmaids and two bridesmen.”
“I’m sorry, there must be some kind of mistake?—”
Genevieve’s headset started blaring, and her eyes widened. “Oooh, it’s time. They’re starting the processional music! I’ve got to get out there, but I’ll come back when it’s time for you to walk down the aisle!”
“But—”
But she was gone in a blur of blond hair and a flowered dress. I racked my brain, trying to decipher what she’d said about the attendants, but then it dawned on me. Rhodes must’ve hired bridesmaids and bridesmen, whatever that meant. It would look strange if I didn’t have any attendants, in addition to having no family here.
I swallowed hard. I hadn’t even called my grandmother that morning. I’d been so busy getting “glammed”—spray tanned, waxed, highlighted, straightened, and made up—that I hadn’t had time. At least, that’s what I’d told myself.
The truth was that I was ashamed that I was getting married like this, in a paid rush job. I was too ashamed to facemy family’s judgment and their disappointment. Although the ceremony would be lavish, this was not the wedding I’d dreamed of as a little girl.
