“I’ll be ready.”
I would never get tired of seeing Eastley smile. I shook my head at how she had me gone. A year ago, I never expected to let any woman get close enough to me to make me feelanything. Now, Eastley’s ass had me feelingeverything. It was scary as hell. I found myself telling the Lord that He couldn’t let me lose her. I couldn’t survive another loss of that magnitude. But then I would calm down and remind myself to live in the moment with the faith that God would keep me through all of life’s ups and downs.
My truck steered itself to Sweet Jackson Food Basket because I was too deep in my own thoughts, teetering between trusting God to be there if something happened to Eastley, while simultaneously begging Him not to let anything happen to her. I grabbed a cart and walked into the market, not noticing anybody until a hand reached out and caught me by the bicep in the chip aisle.
“Quentin.”
I finally focused on the world around me, and my eyes landed on DeVaughn Powell. “Dad,” I said slowly, while my eyes scanned the area for Monique.
“Hey, son. I’m so glad I ran into you. I really wanted to apologize for yesterday.”
The good manners my parents raised me with prompted me to tell him it was cool. But the grown man in me couldn’t bring myself to do that, because it wasn’t cool. “Okay.”
“I don’t know what we were thinking, showing up at your place unannounced and uninvited.” He huffed out a sigh. “Just because our lives have been at a standstill since we lost Teagan doesn’t mean your life has to be at one as well.”
“Actually, my lifewasat a standstill up until about two months before y’all showed up. If you had shown up in May, you wouldn’t have seen Eastley. There wouldn’t have been an Eastley there to see. But God is dealing with my heart. Not in a way that erases Teagan . . . at all. But in a way that allows room for new experiences to come in. For my heart to expand with room to love and care about a new woman.” I sighed. “I hate y’all got hurt by that. I would’ve preferred to tell y’all that I was stepping out on faith and giving love another try. I just didn’t get the chance.”
“You didn’t, son. And that’s our fault. I think we were so consumed by Teagan’s upcoming birthday that we didn’t consider the fact that your life is your own to live.”
“How’s mom? Is she okay? She hate me?” I half joked.
He chuckled lightly. “She doesn’t hate you. She loves you. She was hurt in the moment. But after the moment, after processing the moment, she understood. I explained it to her the best I could as a man. And when we went by Teagan’s grave, we saw that her headstone was spotless and fresh flowers were there. So we know that you haven’t erased her. You haven’t put her to the side for your new young lady. And that gave Monique some comfort.”
“Dad, I love Teagan. Please make sure that mom understands that. I love Teagan, and I always will. She will always live in my heart. I still go to the cemetery every week. I still take care ofmy baby. But now I have somebody to take care of on this side. Somebody that can take care of me back. And I feel like Teagan would want that for me.”
He nodded. “She would. She definitely would.” He gave me a hug. Not the “cool” quick kind, either. He embraced me. Held me tight, the same way he did in Teagan’s hospital room when they pronounced her dead. The same way he did at Teagan’s funeral, when they closed her casket for the last time. The same way he did at the cemetery, when they threw that first handful of dirt into the hole they planned to lower her into. And I hugged him back. In the middle of Sweet Jackson Food Basket, I fought back tears as I hugged my father-in-law.
Back at the house, I replaced my church gear with a pair of jeans, a long-sleeved T-shirt, my riding boots, and my moto jacket. I loaded up the saddle bags, then had Eastley climb on. Once we were ready, we pulled out of the driveway and hit the highway.
About an hour later, we arrived at the nature preserve. Eastley got off the bike, removed her helmet, and took in the scenery. “Okay.”
I grabbed both saddle bags. “Let’s go, gorgeous.” I held out my hand for hers. Once she placed her hand inside mine, I headed toward the trail.
We walked for a little bit, until I found what I felt like was a good place. From the spot I chose, we had a view of rock formations, trees, flowers, and a stream. I directed us to a place in the expanse of grass that was partially sheltered by a tree. I opened one of the saddle bags, removing a few blankets,two small pillows, and two inflatable air mattresses that were reminiscent of what we lay on when we were at the sound bath.
Eastley gasped. “What is this, Q?”
“You took me to a sound bath, and it was a whole vibe. So, I figured I would bring you to aforest bathand see if we like it as much.” I pulled out a battery-operated air pump and attached it to one of the air mattresses. It started to inflate immediately.
“A forest bath?” She was practically giddy. “What do we do?”
I spoke over the volume of the pump. “We’re supposed to lay on these air mattresses and use all five of our senses to experience nature and the gift of God’s, I don’t know, glory? All around us. It’s supposed to have the same effects on the nervous system as a sound bath. We’re supposed to release tension, relax, and recalibrate.”
“I can’t wait.”
Once the mattresses were inflated, we arranged the blankets and pillow. Then we stretched out, side by side. I took her hand in mine the same way I did when we were at the sound bath. I closed my eyes and thought about the things I could see, hear, taste, touch, and smell.
After about an hour, I opened my eyes and sat up. Eastley did the same.
“That was good, Q,” she told me. “I feel really . . . restored.” She stretched her body.
“I’m glad. We both needed that after yesterday.” I then proceeded to tell her about bumping into DeVaughn at the grocery store. I appreciated the way she listened without interrupting or giving any commentary until I’d gotten everything out.
“Even though I don’t feel like you needed to, I’m glad you had a chance to explain yourself,” she told me. “And I’m glad he listened and seemed to understand where you’re coming from.”
“Facts. Anyway, after both run-ins yesterday, I feel like it’s time that you get to ‘meet’ Teagan.” I did air quotes for the word meet. “Teagan will always be a part of me. Even though we never had children, we’re still connected. Her love, her patience, and her example of partnership made me the man that I am. What you get from me, . . . that’s her.”
“So, I owe her my gratitude.”
