My mood was shitty the entire day. I wanted to laugh at myself for acting like a bitch, all in my feelings because Eastley chose to sleep in the guest bed. I didn’t fault her for the decision. Like I told her, I understood it. And when I was real with myself, I could admit that it was probably for the best. Still, I didn’t like it. I wanted her in my bed, pressed up against me. And the fact that I slept alone stopped me from getting a good night’s rest. The whole situation was a lot. I didn’t have any answers, nor did I want to spend a lot of time thinking about it.
I pushed it from my mind as I entered the clubhouse for Thursday nightchurchclub meeting. I walked through the door, and there were a few brothers in the front room, but I could heara lot more voices coming from the back of the house, so that was where I headed.
The meeting hadn’t started yet, so I made my way over to Smitty. “What’s up, man?” I asked as we exchanged the club handshake.
“Not much.”
“How’s mom? She doing all right?”
He smiled at the thought of her. “Yeah. Yeah. They got her on a new medicine, and she’s up and about. She felt so good that she barbecued the whole pig on the Fourth of July.”
I chuckled. “Glad to hear it. Glad to hear it.”
Before we could say anymore, KD opened the meeting. I found a seat near the back of the room and settled into it. When I was the road captain, I had a significant role to play at meetings. It would’ve been my job to highlight the success of the Heritage Ride we did in late May and to lay out the specifics for the upcoming charity ride for World Mental Health Day in October. Instead, I got to sit back and listen while Avery Green handled those duties. And what I realized while sitting there was that I didn’t miss it. I didn’t miss anything that came with being the road captain, even though it was a more important and visible role. I actually preferred being the chaplain. I enjoyed my new role.
KD was a conscientious president. He kept the meetings moving and didn’t allow any member to hijack the meeting or allow us to get off topic. Under KD’s regime, Braveheart Brotherhood meetings started promptly at 7 p.m. and ended promptly at 9 p.m.
I stopped to holler at a few brothers after the meeting ended. Some thanked me for the self-defense class I held for the wives and girlfriends over the weekend. Others just talked generally about being glad to see me at a meeting. Another brother thanked me for a referral to a black male therapist I’d sharedwith him. It felt good to get back into the swing of things with the club.
I was tired as hell by the time I headed home from the meeting. Luckily, I was thinking ahead and had placed an order with Sweet Jackson Sandwich Shoppe before the meeting started. I swung by and grabbed my order right before they closed, then continued home.
I was surprised that Eastley’s truck wasn’t in the driveway. It was almost 10 p.m., but she worked with babies. And if there was one group of humans that operated on their own time, it was babies.
Inside the house, I beelined for my bedroom, stripped, and showered. Once I was clean and in a Londynville Leopards T-shirt and a pair of black sweats, I padded into the kitchen. Ms. Frankie had come to her tai chi class bearing food gifts.
She said she’d been feeling a little under the weather, so she’d made a big pot of chunky chicken noodle soup. I hated to hear that she wasn’t feeling her best, but I was glad as hell to be the recipient of her extra soup. I grabbed a pot from the cabinet and poured the soup into it to heat up.
When the soup was thoroughly heated, I poured a bowlful and prepared the turkey and cheddar sandwich I picked up from the deli. The soup was teeming with chunks of chicken, veggies, and noodles. Even with as hungry as I was, there was no way I could eat an entire deli sandwich and the huge bowl of soup I fixed for myself. I cut the sandwich in half and devoured my dinner.
When I finished eating, Eastley still wasn’t home. I put a lid on the pot of soup and wrapped up the remainder of the sandwich. I sent Eastley a quick text.
Me:
E, I haven’t seen you since early this morning. You’ve clearly had a long day. I left you some soup on the stove, and half a sandwich in the refrigerator if you’re hungry. If you’re too tired to drive home, hit me up. I’ll pick you up. Otherwise, be safe.
I didn’t want to admit it out loud, but I was kind of concerned. Not being able to put my eyes on people when I wanted to put my eyes on them made me uneasy. Of course that was a holdover from losing Teagan, but it was still a very real thing in my world. I hoped that she would hit me back so I would at least know she was cool.
Please be cool. I sent up a silent prayer as I walked to my bedroom. I took a piss, threw off the T-shirt and the sweatpants, then climbed into bed to watch some television.
I must’ve dozed off because I felt myself opening my eyes when there was movement in the bed. I turned my head just in time to see Eastley pull the blanket over herself. “You sleeping in here? You cool?” I questioned, rubbing my eyes.
“I’m sorry. I know I said I was gonna start sleeping in the guest room, but it’s been a long ass day, Q.” She sighed. “I just need . . .”
I pulled her to me without even thinking about it. I heard and felt her exhale.
“We almost lost the baby.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
“This is her seventh child.” She sighed again. “It really should’ve been routine. She kept calling herself awaterslide. Then the baby wouldn’t descend. That poor mama tried everything. Everything. All the things she knew worked in her other six births. The baby wouldn’t budge. When he finally made his arrival, the cord was wrapped around his neck multiple times. That’s why he couldn’t descend.”
“Damn. Did he end up being okay?”
“Thank God, he did. When I finally wrapped up for the night, he was snuggled up on his mom getting his skin-to-skin contact.”
“Cool.”
“You want kids, Q?”
