While I wouldn’t saythat things between Kaynaan and me were strained, they were definitely different. The vibe that had once been easy and light was decidedly heavier. And I knew that I made it that way with my skittish behavior and my inability to just talk to him when something was bothering me. It was so dumb. I didn’t know how to fix things between us. I didn’t know how to get him to . . . invest in the possibility of us again. I had burned him twice. If I was him, I wouldn’t trust me either.
He was good about saying that I was his. I wanted him to not just have to say it; I wanted him to feel it. I wanted him to feel that I was his, that I was willing to give myself to him. I wanted him to be my future, but what would make him believe that?
Christmas was less than a month away, and each week seemed busier than the last. We had a doctor’s appointment today, his grandfather’s birthday on Saturday, and the Coyotes had a home game on Sunday. Almost his entire family had come into town for the weekend to celebrate.
Kaynaan invited me to the game. They were going to be in the suite, and he knew how much I enjoyed it. But his grandmother would be there. There was no way I would ever agree to be in the suite while she was there.
Her family owned the suite. She didn’t like me. I was an outsider. I didn’t feel like it was cool for her to have to be uncomfortable in the suite her family owned. So, I declined. I didn’t tell Kaynaan that I was declining because of her, but both of us knew that she was the reason I declined.
I was working diligently on my holiday orders, trying to get them all finished. I had been knee-deep in glitter, paint, rhinestones, and glue every day this week, but not today. The studio was already spotless when Kaynaan arrived to pick me up for the appointment. He’d decided to be late for practice just to go with me, and that made me smile.
“Heads up, my mother’s in the truck. She really wants to go to this appointment with us,” he said as he walked into the studio.
A pit formed in my stomach. “Does she know?—”
He cut me off. “She knows she’s getting a new grandbaby to love. You ready?”
The way he could be so confident . . . sometimes I didn’t know what to do with that. “I’m ready.”
“Let’s go.”
I zipped up my coat and took his hand. He took the key from me and locked up my studio. We made small talk all the way to the doctor’s office. Dr. Israel’s excitement was palpable. I had to tussle with the urge not to feel guilty. This baby wasn’ther grandchild. But at the same time, if I was gonna be with Kaynaan, the baby would kind of be her grandchild. It was too much, and it was messing with joy that came with finding out the baby’s gender, but I pushed it to the back of my mind.
After the appointment, Dr. Israel invited me to lunch. Kaynaan dropped us off at the restaurant on his way to practice. He told us that Axel would pick us up when we were ready to leave. Before I got out of the car, he grabbed me and kissed me thoroughly, causing both my nipples to harden and butterflies to flutter inside my stomach. “Take care of my daughter.”
I couldn’t help grinning. He’d been so sure the baby was a girl, and when the tech confirmed it, I thought he would take off in flight. “I will.”
He kissed me again. “And take care of her mother, too. She’s my future.”
The grin remained plastered to my face. “I will.”
Dr. Israel and I walked intoKindred Soul Kitchentogether. We were quickly seated.
“I hope this is all right,” she said, draping her coat and purse across the chair next to her.
“This is fine.” I did the same. “I love this place. They have really good food.”
“They do. Kaynaan brought us here the last time we were in Chicago, and I haven’t stopped thinking about the food.”
I picked up the menu, excited about what I would feed myself and my baby.
“So, I asked you here because I want to get to know you a little better, Wyndi. It was obvious to me at the game and again at Thanksgiving that my son is smitten with you. But today? Hewas practically levitating with joy about the impending bundle of joy.” She grinned at me over her own menu. “And don’t think that I can’t see why.”
I sighed silently. She liked me because she didn’t know all the baggage I was dragging with me.
“Listen, it’s not my style to beat around the bush. You know I work with athletes, and sometimes I have to give them information and prognosis that changed the entire course of their lives. So I’m not gonna sit here and play coy with you. My mother-in-law came straight to our home on Friday morning, after she left Kaynaan’s place. She was all upset because Kaynaan was not pleased with her about the way she handled the news of the pregnancy.” She waved her hand dismissively. “She wanted us to speak to Kaynaan. Georgia Israel never cares about ruffling anybody’s feathers, . . . except Kaynaan Israel’s. She doesn’t like her grandson having any reason to be mad at her.”
My hand went to my heart. “Dr. Israel, I felt so badly about that. I never want to be the cause of anybody beefing with their family, but especially not Kaynaan.”
She grinned at me. “Do you love my son?”
I took my time before responding. “Love is a scary proposition for me. I’ve been in love before. I’ve loved before. It ended so badly. One part of my brain doesn’t think the same thing will happen with Kaynaan, but the other part remembers the . . . devastation. So, I have fear. And he seems so sure. Which in theory should make me feel more secure, but it actually does the opposite and makes me more scared.”
“I’m a bone doctor. I don’t claim to know a lot about the brain, but I can see that. We have gotten off track. The first thing I wanted to do was congratulate you on the pregnancy.” She banged her hands together in a silent happy clap. “Unlike my mother-in-law, who cares about gossip and rumors, all I care about is having a baby to love on and spoil.”
The waiter showed up at that moment and took our orders.
I heaved out a heavy sigh. “Dr. Israel, I need to be completely transparent with you, before we go any further. One of the reasons that Kaynaan’s dedication to me is scary is because”—I took a huge breath—“he’s not this baby’s biological father.” I rushed out the next word before she could speak. “The father and I weren’t in a serious situation, and we had just ended things when Kaynaan approached me. I had no idea I was pregnant when I went to homecoming with Kaynaan. I liked him a lot and had a really good time with him. I was open to seeing where something between us could go. Then I found out that I was pregnant.
