“He claims that the baby comes to him in dreams and tells him about herself,” I mocked.
“See, that’s why she told me not to tell you.”
Dr. Butler laughed, and I had to laugh at that, too. Kaynaan was ridiculous, but I had to admit that I was falling hard for him. I wasn’t sure if it was the pregnancy hormones or what, but I was starting to long for him. When he had away games, or he was too tired for us to see each other, there was a physical ache in my chest. I never mentioned that to anybody. I wasn’t ready to examine it.
“Well, he or she looks good. Measuring right at twelve weeks and six days. Tomorrow you’ll be thirteen weeks and officially out of your first trimester. Don’t be surprised if you still experience some first trimester hallmarks, like nausea, food aversions, and fatigue. You might still notice tenderness in your breasts and the frequent need to urinate as well.
“Since you have successfully made it out of thedanger zone, we will move you to a regular schedule. I’ll see you once a month until you hit your twenty-eighth week. Let’s listen to the baby’s heartbeat. I’ll have the nurse up front print off some pics, and you two are out of here.”
Listening to my baby’s heartbeat always brought tears to my eyes, and this time was no different. Kaynaan dabbed at the tears with a tissue he grabbed from the countertop and placed a kiss on my forehead. Once my stomach had been wiped free of the gel used in hearing the heartbeat and I had the pictures of Baby Castle in hand, I prepared to leave the examination room.
“Wyndsor,” Dr. Butler called before Kaynaan and I walked out of the door. “My receptionist asked me to mention to you that you have an outstanding balance. When you go up there to make your next appointment, please try to put something down on it. If it’s not paid in full a week before your return visit, I won’t be able to see you.”
I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. I was mortified. I couldn’t believe she said that in front ofKaynaan. What happened to HIPPA? She didn’t know what my relationship was with him. She presumed he was the baby’s father. Even if he was, maybe I didn’t want him to know I had a balance. Maybe he’d given me the money to pay the bill and I tricked it off. I forced myself to concentrate on the fact that she blurted it out in front of Kaynaan so I wouldn’t have to concentrate on the fact that I didn’t have the money to cover it. I could maybe put one hundred dollars toward it, but not much else. And I was keenly aware that one hundred dollars wouldn’t make much of a dent.
A moment earlier, I’d been happily gazing at pictures of my unborn child; now I walked to the reception desk like I was walking toward the firing squad.
“Hey,” the receptionist said with a bright smile. “Do you need to schedule your return appointment?”
Before I could even nod, Kaynaan gently moved me to the side so that he was right in front of the receptionist. “Listen, about the balance on the account . . .” He handed over a card. “Pay it off.”
Now, I was the type of woman who always hated it when I heard or read about a situation where a broke woman refused to take help from a man. But as I watched her reach for the card he was extending, I couldn’t help but speak up. “No. No.”
My inner voice was asking me,what the hell?I couldn’t answer, because I didn’t have a valid response. I just knew it made my stomach hurt to think of Kaynaan paying a bill for a baby that had nothing to do with him.
Kaynaan motioned for the receptionist to keep his card. “Where’s your card, Brown Eyes? Either whip out your card and pay the balance or let me cook. You’ve spent the last few weeks anxious and stressed about the health of the baby. You’re finally at the point where you can relax and maybe even enjoy your pregnancy, and you’re trying to tie on the stress of not knowinghow you’re gonna pay these mounting medical bills?” He gently took my arm and led me far enough away that our conversation would be private. “I apologize for going there in front of the receptionist. But make this make sense, baby.
“You do understand that if you don’t pay the bill off, you’re either gonna have to find a different doctor or go to the free clinic? What’s your game plan here?”
Tears sprung to my eyes. I wiped at them furiously. It wasn’t the time for tears, but my hormones didn’t respect inopportune moments. “I just don’t like owing.” That was the truth. I hated owing anybody anything.
He gave a little scoff. “Are you even serious right now? Because youoweDr. Butler’s office. I’m trying to take that off your plate, and you’re giving me pushback.” He sighed heavily. “Whether you believe it or not, Brown Eyes, you’re my future. Everybody knows it but you. And I’m okay with that. Because even little baby”—He gestured toward my middle—“is visiting me in the future. She knows who I am in this situation. It’s taking you a minute to get there, but like I said, I’m cool with that. Because of who you are to me, I’mma always exercise the utmost patience with you. I’mma willingly do simp shit. I’mma take my time with you. But what won’t happen on my watch is playing a game with no winner that’s based on pride and fake independence. I’m paying the bill. You’re letting me pay the bill. And you’re shutting that pretty little mouth of yours.
“Now, let me go retrieve my damn card before the nurses in this office be taking a group trip to the D.R. on my dime. I’ll make your appointment for four weeks from today.”
LoLo cackled loudly, which was the only way she knew how to laugh. “He was sick of your shit,” she said after I told her what happened in Dr. Butler’s office.
“And was.” I agreed, scooping a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth while simultaneously working on a custom blinged-out design for myself. I was going to put it on the back of a jersey that had been sent over by the team more than a year ago.
Kaynaan had been asking me to come to one of his games. I kept declining. That was mainly because I was concerned about optics. I was concerned about somebody seeing me with him, who knew I’d been with Preston at one point. But what Kaynaan said to me in Dr. Butler’s office resonated. I was playing a game with no winner, based on pride and not fake independence, but fake humility. I felt like I should feel bad about sleeping with both Preston and Kaynaan. But the truth was that I didn’t feel bad. I didn’t feel anything. It was what it was. I was tired of hiding and acting like I needed to be walking around with a scarlet letter . . . a big red letter A on my chest.
“He checked your ass. I know you were the talk of the office for the rest of the day.”
I giggled. “I’ll bet I was.”
“Next time, just let him pay, friend.”
“Girl, there won’t be a next time. He left the card on file. Anytime I see Dr. Butler, they’ve been authorized to swipe the card. He so annoying.” I smiled when I said it, though. “Talking about, if she or the baby has to be airlifted to a different hospital during delivery, swipe the card. Whatever comes up regarding her or the baby, . . . swipe the card.”
“Girl, I would’ve been swiping my mouth all over his dick. Did you thank him properly?”
“And did,” I muttered.
“So, he thinks it’s a girl?”
“Had the nerve to say my alleged daughter came to him in a dream.”
She eyed me. “You think it’s a girl?”
