“You have to admit that it looks bad.”
She sucked her teeth. “Patriarchy did a wonderful job of selling women guilt and burdens we didn’t ask for or deserve. It’s always interesting to me how women bear the brunt of being embarrassed about how things look. A man can be having sex with best friends . . . sisters even, and if he gets caught? Embarrassment is the last thought in his mind. If this Preston person had a WNBA player pregnant and was currently dating a different one, I guarantee you he wouldn’t be embarrassed. Not at all.”
I put my head down on the table.
“Listen, Daughter. If you’re not interested in this Kaynaan man . . . if the timing is off, and you need to concentrate on all the stuff you have going on, that’s fair. Tell him that you wish things could be different, but since they aren’t, you need time. But if the only thing stopping you from giving this man a chance is how somebody else might perceive it . . . perceive you . . . I don’t know. Sounds like self-sabotage to me.”
“The timing is off,” I muttered, “but not enough for me not to want to spend time with him. I like him. He makes me laugh. We have conversations. Channing and I were so young. Kaynaan’s grown. He’s mature. He knows when to push and when to fallback. He knows when I need him to be gentle with me and when I need him to get me together. I like him.”
“Then give things a chance. You’re pregnant. You’re in an altered state. Your thoughts, feelings, and emotions will be out of your control at times. You might appreciate somebody being tender with you. Particularly if his heart is in the right place.”
“It is. He’s a really good person.”
“Give yourself some grace. Don’t beat yourself up because of how you think it looks. You know what they say:It’s not what happens to you. It’s how you handle what happens to you.”
