Meadow’s pink lips part and my eyes glance down at them. I want to kiss her, but I don’t. For now.
“I’ve wanted you since the moment I met you. I held myself back because I’m not good enough for you, not when I was trying to put my all into making my business a success.” I take a deep breath as my eyes bounce back and forth between hers, studying her, memorizing her. “Grandpa wasn’t sure about my plans for the farm and even though he gave me some land to use, he was hesitant. I wanted to put all of my time and effort into making it a success.”
“You wanted him to be proud of you,” she whispers.
I nod, my mouth going dry while I press my lips together, not trusting my voice for a moment. When I get myself under control I croak out, “Yeah. It wasn’t until I read his letter, the one explaining his will, that I found out he was.”
“He should have told you,” she insists, “but I’m glad he put it in a letter at least. You’ll always have it now.”
“Looking back,” I admit, “I think he might have been telling me but in ways I didn’t understand at the time. Talking about his feelings wasn’t easy for him, but he tried his best.”
“For you. He tried his best for you.”
“I know,” the words slip past my lips. I shake my head and give her a wry smile. “It was hard to see it sometimes and even harder to feel it. I never wanted to be like my father, and it felt like his ghost stuck around in my life and on the farm.” I tilt my head slightly as I look at her. “The point is, I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. I felt it, the pull, the need to be near you. I just couldn’t give you what you deserved then and giving you any less wouldn’t be fair to you, and it would eat me up inside.”
“I wanted you too,” she confesses, her voice quiet like she doesn’t want to break the tentative bubble of peace around us.
I kiss her lips softly and force myself to pull back. Not because I don’t want her, but because it’ll be far too easy to get lost in kissing her. What I have to say is important.
Honestly, I probably should have found time to say it before we got here. But she still deserves to hear the truth.
“When you agreed to marry me, you have no idea how high my heart soared. It was like being given my greatest wish.” Tears fill my eyes, but I blink them away. “The two best things that have ever happened in my life were being dropped off with my grandparents and marrying you.”
“Rook,” her voice wobbles as she breathes out my name.
I kiss her again, unable to stop myself. How I keep it chaste is a mystery. It’s doubtful I’d be able to pull it off a third time.
“What about when you get the farm, free and clear, signed over to you?”
I shake my head slowly and smile softy down at my woman, my wife, my Wildflower. “Marrying you will be better,” my voice is strong and filled with conviction.
Her entire face softens and she melts into me. I love it when she does that. It makes me feel like I have the power to make her feel safe, safe to let go, safe to just be.
“But I need the farm too,” I tell her, my voice thick.
“Of course,” she says it as if she’s almost affronted at the thought of me not having it. It’s adorable as fuck.
“Not because of my family legacy or because of the work I’ve put in,” I correct any assumptions she might be making.
Her eyebrows pull together and confusion is written all over her face. “That doesn’t make any sense,” she mutters.
“I need the farm because I can see our lives there. I can see the future.” She blows out a breath as she absorbs my words, my truth. “I can see you laughing in the house and helping me turning it into a home, not just for us but for future generations.”
“Future generations?” Hope fills her voice even though she tries to mask it.
“Yeah,” I confirm as one side of my mouth tips up. “I can see it all, Meadow. You, our kids. I can hear their laughter and hear their feet on the hardwood. I can’t even put into words how much I want it. I’m desperate for it.”
“Yes,” she says it like a confession, like admitting she’s right there with me costs her something, even if she gains more in return.
“I love you, my Wildflower,” the words fall from my lips with ease, as if I was born to say them.
I think I was.
Meadow’s eyes widen and she blinks at me a few times. The silence stretches between us, but I’m not worried. My heartbeat is steady.
Because I know.
I know how she feels about me. I’ve felt it when she reaches for me or when her eyes find mine and sparkle.
