A few of us cracked up.
Zahra rolled her eyes. “You’re the one standing over there pouting because nobody is eating your cake.”
“Say ‘baked good’ or something, baby,” Saint muttered. “Damn.”
That made me laugh harder as I continued carrying Ava’s load for her for a little while.
Then Ava looked over at the cake and said, “Actually, I’m glad nobody ate it because carrot cake is my favorite, and now I can snack on it when I have cravings. I had a slice earlier. It was really good.”
He nodded like he expected nothing less. “I know.”
Zahra sucked her teeth. “Now this nigga is about to beinsufferable.”
21
TARIQ “REEK” HORTON
After the shower, I followed behind Ava through traffic with my truck full of gifts. Once we got to her building, I made five trips from the truck to her unit, using the large laundry cart the receptionist got for me.
By the time I was done stacking everything up in the nursery, the nursery looked like Christmas had exploded in it all over again.
I found her in the living room after that. She was sitting on the couch sideways with one leg folded under her and the other stretched out, rubbing at her foot with this tired little frown on her face. Her shower dress was still on, but she had kicked the heels off somewhere between the front door and the couch. Her hair was still done, makeup still pretty, but the whole rest of her looked worn out.
I stood there for a second just looking at her, appreciating that this was the woman bringing my child into this world. I never wanted this, but since it was with her, I was appreciative.
Then I went over and sat down beside her.
“You got everything?”
“Yeah.”
I looked down at the way she was rubbing her foot, then reached for it. I lifted her ankle and set her foot across my lap.
That startled her. Her brows pulled together, for a second, like she didn’t know whether to let me. But she did. I started rubbing slowly, working my thumb into the arch and then the ball of her foot. She let out a breath and leaned onto the couch.
“Ooooh,” she moaned quietly.
I chuckled. “Yeah?”
“That feels good.”
I kept going, working the soreness out. “You’re going to need a bigger room for Cairo. He doesn’t have enough room for all of his stuff.”
She chuckled, with her eyes closed and head leaning back against the couch. “I know. I need to take what he can’t fit yet and all of the surplus downstairs to my storage.” Then she looked down at me rubbing her foot and asked, “Why are you being nice?”
I shook my head with amused scoff. “My rep that bad?”
She gave me a small smile. “You know what I mean.”
I did. So, I kept rubbing her foot and answered her honestly for once. “Because I’m tired.”
She frowned. “Tired of what?”
“Tired of fighting what this is.” I rubbed my hand over her ankle, then back down her foot. “Tired of acting like I don’t feel what I feel.” I kept my eyes on her foot because saying all this while looking straight at her would be too overwhelming. “I stayed away from love and children because family sounded like a trap to me. Everybody who was supposed to love me made me feel left, used, or in the way. So, the whole idea of family always sounded good for other people and bad for me.”
Ava got real quiet, but I knew she was listening by the way her body stilled.
“I thought if I stayed out of all that, then I couldn’t ruin nobody the way that I was. I thought I was doing the right thing by never promising more than I could give, by keeping women at a distance, by not pretending I was some man built for forever when I ain’t never seen forever done right a day in my life.” I finally looked up at her then. “But I was so determined not to ruin anybody with my emptiness that I ended up hurting you anyway.”
