I put my hand over my mouth, inhaling in disbelief of how the space looked like I had walked into a fairytale. It was truly breathtaking.
“Oh my God,” I whispered as I looked around with my eyes bulging with shock and awe.
Reek looked just as caught off guard as I felt.
Then we heard a sharp scream behind us. We both turned to see Zahra and Saint coming in through the front entrance. Zahra abandoned the stroller and ran straight toward me with both hands already reaching as she continued to scream. By the time she got to me, she was crying and laughing at the same time. She threw her arms around me carefully, mindful of my belly, and started rocking me from side to side.
“Oh my God, Ava,” she cried. “It’s a boy! Our boys are going to be best friends.”
I giggled, already feeling my eyes sting. “Stop crying before you make me cry and mess up my makeup.”
Then she must have seen his name, because she let out another scream, right into my ear, making me cringe. “Cairo! Oh my God! Czar and Cairo! They are going to be besties!”
Behind her, Saint came up pushing Czar in the stroller. He dapped Reek up with a grin and said, “Congratulations, nigga. Me and you finna be on the field together watching our sons play pee-wee football.”
Reek looked genuinely happy, and I loved seeing him happy about our son. I loved seeing that pride on him and how it was naturally there.
But it was bittersweet, and this day felt emotionally complicated as hell. I still felt like the messy one in a room full of women who had been loved right through their pregnancies. I felt like I was standing in the middle of something beautiful with my shoes on the wrong feet.
TARIQ “REEK” HORTON
By now, everybody had eaten, the bar was open, the dessert table had been attacked twice, and the gift table was overflowing so badly that the event staff had started stacking boxes and bags on the floor around it.
My son had cleaned up.
There were designer gift bags from stores babies had no business knowing existed, giant wrapped boxes with satin bows, monogrammed keepsake trunks, strollers, bassinets, vibrating swings, car seats, diaper cakes, and enough clothes and shoes for Cairo Zaire to stunt until kindergarten. The whole thing was beautiful, excessive, and very on brand for this family.
I couldn’t stop looking at my child’s mother. I watched the way her hand rested under her stomach when she stood too long. I watched how her smile still started in her eyes before it reached her mouth. I saw everything I had spent months trying not to want with every fiber of my being.
And somewhere between her telling me about my son and now, I was tired of denying I didn’t want pieces of Ava. I wanted her for real. I was emotionally attached to Ava in a way thatwas deeper than desire and stronger than fear. I wanted to be responsible for her for the rest of my life.
That truth had been beating on me for days. The only reason I still hadn’t claimed her was because I wanted to give her time to forgive me for pushing Kam out the way, and I wanted to be sure in myself. Because once I committed to Ava, I wasn’t doing no half-assed version of it. I wasn’t about to say the words, pull her in, and then wound her later by leaving or not being at my best. If I gave her that, I was giving it all the way.
But, looking at her that day, I knew I was sure. I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. And that didn’t even scare me the way it usually did.
The event planner clapped her hands from the front of the room and announced it was game time.
The planner rolled out a line of chairs and held up a little machine with wires and sticky pads. “This game is for the men—”
Groans from the men in the crowd interrupted her.
She laughed as she went on, “We’re going to see who can handle simulated contractions the longest.”
Rhythm laughed into her champagne. “Oh, this is going to beexcellent.”
Aria looked around the room with all the satisfaction of a woman who had already suffered enough. “Yes. Let them feel that shit.”
Legend pointed at her from across the room. “You an opp, baby.”
“You’re an opp for knocking me up as many times as you did.”
The whole room cracked up.
I ended up in one of the chairs with Saint, Big A, Sincere, Icon, and Legend. The planner’s assistants started sticking padsto our stomachs while the women circled like vultures smelling entertainment.
Saint looked down at the wires on him and said, “If this electrocutes me, everybody in here dying.”
Zahra snorted. “You are so dramatic.”
