I leaned back in the chair, looking at her. “Men don’t befriend pregnant women without intentions.”
When she shrugged a shoulder, that shit stung. “And if he has intentions, then that’s cool. I deserve to be happy.”
Ava was so over my bullshit, that she wasn’t even scared to tell me that shit to my face. I let her hand go and looked away for half a second, then back at her. “You know how I feel about you. I may have only said it with this dick and a few words, but you know.”
Ava held my gaze. “But you were right when you said I want something real. I’m going to eventually want to get married and build a home for our baby, whether that’s with you or someone else—”
“Really?” I snapped.
But she didn’t flinch. “It’s facts,” she said, shrugging again. “I deserve to be happy and get married one day. If that can’t be you, then it will be someone else, and that someone else will be our child’s stepfather.”
That shit blew me. Rage filled me, making my chest rise and fall fast.
“Can you say you want that?” she pressed. “I appreciate you letting your guard down and being here for the baby, but can you say that you want a relationship, commitment, and marriage?”
I sat there in silence because I still couldn’t force that lie out my mouth, not even for Ava. I wanted her. I wanted my son. I wanted them safe. I wanted them near me. But wanting the whole picture of what came with that without panic?
I still couldn’t say it.
Ava nodded once. “Exactly…Then let me go find someone who does.”
That one sentence felt like getting skinned alive. But I knew she was right. It was only fair to let her find the kind of love that didn’t come with this much confusion and fear. She deserved a man who could tell her yes without choking on it, a man who wants the whole picture, not just the pieces of it that came easiest to him.
It was fair but still felt like a brutal death I had to accept.
And the sickest part was that instead of making me run toward my feelings for her, it made me want to run from them even faster. Because if this was what wanting Ava did to me, then letting it grow more was only going to kill me slower.
Ava turned her whole body towards me and looked at me with pleading eyes. “Promise me you won’t kill him.”
My stomach turned. It made me physically ill that she cared that much. “You like him like that?”
“I don’t know him that well to answer that, but I know he shouldn’t die for being attracted to me.”
Looking at her, I had to put my rage aside and realize that it was impossible not to be attracted to her. “He’ll be stupid to not be attracted to you, so I’ll let him live.”
“You promise?”
I slowly nodded my head. “Yeah. Because you asked me to.”
“Thank you.”
17
AVA REYNOLDS
Afew days later, I was at my pop-up event. I had rented out a cute loft-style event space in the West Loop. I had been planning this event for weeks, and by the time the doors opened, it looked exactly how I pictured it in my head. I had a big, branded backdrop with my company name, Royal Strandz, in gold script, tables lined with bundles, frontals, closures, and wigs, a section where two stylists were doing installs and quick touch-ups, and another area where the hair influencers I invited could take pictures and create content. There was an open bar, finger foods coming out from the caterer, and enough women in there to put Royal Strandz on the map even more.
Women were buying hair. Beauticians were networking. Influencers were posting. My phone had already been buzzing with notifications from tags and stories, and it was still early.
Most of the family had come through to support me too.
I was in the back near one of the inventory tables trying to move a box of hair when Reek came out of nowhere and took it from me.
He picked the box up like it weighed nothing and carried it to the table I had been trying to get it to.
Lately, he had been on me every time I so much as reached for something heavier than a purse. Ever since the fall, he barely let me do anything when he was around.
He sat the box down and reprimanded me with that scowl. “Why were you trying to lift that?” He blew a dramatic breath like he was so over me. “You remember what the doctor said. I just got comfortable having a fucking baby, and now you wanna keep putting us at risk to lose it. Gawd damn!”
